Birds View

I thought for a moment it was rain drops, until I lifted my heart up in yoga position and saw them soaring over head. The moment wasn't long enough to determine what the wetness was that lay upon my lip. My thoughts were involved in breath and Ahimsa, so I knew I could not think anything other than non-violence. 

For the first time I understood the power of living in the moment no matter what dampness surrounded me. 

~Ebony 

In the Rain Storm

I guess anything can come at of me at this moment, since the rain is pounding on the ground, no one would hear my soul cry, no one would hear the immature giggle that could both blast out of me like a child screaming for their mother...

I only imagine the way the rain would feel on my face on top of tears that already lay there, or maybe the burst of love that is in my mind is on the extreme for "too soon" to feel this way and so the puddles that splash right on me, have purpose to calm me down...

I hear thunder in far clouds and I shift my feet to a patter that I desire to be met with, but no one will hear this tiny feet, they just seem like ant taps compared to the storm, I could fall over in the mud right now and still stand up clean, that's how fast the rain is coming down...

(c) Ebony Larijani

In the Air of Nature

Often times I sit and stair at the trees
The most leaf less way to become engaged in something other than my thoughts
Often times I sit beside a rock that appears to be weak and small
The most hard less way to become engaged in something other than my thoughts
Most of the time, I just sit in any open space that nature provides
The most familiar place I find myself, engaged in any part of the air that will let my thoughts drift away...


© Ebony Larijani

I Met A Woman...

I have been introduced to a woman in The Book of Esther. I have been introduced to a woman in the bible named Vashti and she reminds me of many women that I know today. I have also met myself.

I intended for this bible story to form me into biblical times to imagine how things could be, but with the detail of words and phrases I feel as if I am there with them, in their time and yet they appear in me now, in my time.

He set a law for everyone, Xeres did. At first I thought it was because he wanted to control everything that he could and he hated women and wanted them all to form to mans way. But if you read further over the pages and sit with him, you find a weak man. A man who's title appears to be noble and steadfast, but this man was weak in his ways. And because he did not want the entire world looking at his failure, he put the bark of competition on women. If I bring your mind up to the current years, think of the number of women who hate each other because of what a man took part in.

There he was Xeres, upset that his own wife denied coming before him, ignoring his call for her, so he decided to make a law. Not only a law was made, he also would replace her with "someone better". I have to be honest, when I first saw the word better I immediately thought, wow! They spoke so highly of her about her beauty so who was more pretty than her, who would be better? This wasn't about looks though, this was about better in obeying him. Who could do that better than Vashti?

These next words are my own thoughts:
There it is, the bark of jealousy, rage, anger, hate, cruelty. And I don't mean bark as in the roaring sound out of a dogs mouth, but the bark of a tree. The root, the base, the core. Is this where it started? All those words filled my mind as I thought of how Vashti would feel towards the woman replacing her. Ironically the woman that replaces her would feel the same, simply because she came behind her. Would she live up to her ways, even with one mistake on her belt, still could she be better than her. It will be a silent spiritual hold that would be upon them for years, centuries maybe. The two of them, whether with him or not with him, the battle back and forth in the bark of their own minds. Is she better, what is wrong with me? I become weak in my script as I write this on my paper and even more limp when I transfer it from paper to computer. As this transferring of negative energy and emotions, yet truth.

I have only made it through chapter one of The Book of Esther and I have fallen in love with my own woman like ways, knowing the root stated in biblical time. There will be an answer in these verses.

© Ebony Larijani

Affirmation

I open my heart to receive the highest power available to me. I trust that I am being led to where I need to be... ~Pat Tovo

This is my affirmation today. I rambled it off my tongue as I lay in bed this morning. It didn't take long for my mind to start to wrap around these words. "I open", that would be me; myself. I am acknowledging that I submit myself to something. Not only myself, but a certain part of myself "my heart", this delicate beating organ that can do so many things. Now it is time to receive something, a gift, not to be torn apart by my hands with human excitement of what might be. Rather a gift of love "highest power", wow the highest power is "available to me". Yes, it is and I am releasing fear to accept this truth.

"I trust" that can be difficult at times in life, but no matter what is going on, I trust. Wait a minute, I have to pause and get this in my mind the right way, because at times I have no idea where this journey is taking me, but here we go. I trust "I am being led", by whom though? Because sometimes I feel like I am being guided by my own thoughts, other times I know it is God guiding and sometimes I feel like people are pulling me in all types of directions. But I have to remind myself, that I trust.

"Where I need to be" well honestly right now I need to be in the meditation room, followed by a massage. I don't need to be here at work that's for sure! But again, another self reminder, I trust.

This is a long affirmation with a lot of details, good details and quick reminders. I am open to God and I am trusting and am being led and the direction is where need be. What a beautiful affirmation.

Poem:
"affirm for yourself what life will be for you, in the mist of chaos you don't want to find yourself trying to train a mind that was already out of order and now in a panic... you want to be prepared when life does what life does... the good and the bad will come, so prepare to enjoy it with the affirmed knowledge of a calm trained mind" ~ Ebony Larijani


(c) since 2011, Ebony Larijani

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Day 1 challenge

Challenge: Take a moment today to contemplate what moves you, what gets you fired up, what makes you, uniquely you. Now, create a list of 5 things that describe your essence. Pick a small object that represents each (a favorite book for a passion for words, a treasured necklace from your kids) and make an altar of them in a place you will see them daily.

1. Poetry
2. Writing
3. Reading
4.Intimacy
5. Nature

1. And She Healed; On Purpose, my first published poetry book. It always reminds me of my true desire that moves me to see life through my own eyes, yet with an open mind and unusual thought. 

2. My journal, it is full of half written pages and 2 pages letters, some that I have never thought to mail, but a simple release. 

3. The zillion books I have that spread through each room in my home, to my car, to my office, even  the new age on my Nook and in my purse. I love reading

4. I use to search for this until I remembered my birth right. I was born in love. I desire the soft kiss, the love for my body. I receive it in my mirror, daily and at any moment I chose. 

5. It's always before me, in site and touch, I even smell it at times. 

This weekend I plan to make my altar of these things. 

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani