Birds View

I thought for a moment it was rain drops, until I lifted my heart up in yoga position and saw them soaring over head. The moment wasn't long enough to determine what the wetness was that lay upon my lip. My thoughts were involved in breath and Ahimsa, so I knew I could not think anything other than non-violence. 

For the first time I understood the power of living in the moment no matter what dampness surrounded me. 

~Ebony 

In the Rain Storm

I guess anything can come at of me at this moment, since the rain is pounding on the ground, no one would hear my soul cry, no one would hear the immature giggle that could both blast out of me like a child screaming for their mother...

I only imagine the way the rain would feel on my face on top of tears that already lay there, or maybe the burst of love that is in my mind is on the extreme for "too soon" to feel this way and so the puddles that splash right on me, have purpose to calm me down...

I hear thunder in far clouds and I shift my feet to a patter that I desire to be met with, but no one will hear this tiny feet, they just seem like ant taps compared to the storm, I could fall over in the mud right now and still stand up clean, that's how fast the rain is coming down...

(c) Ebony Larijani

In the Air of Nature

Often times I sit and stair at the trees
The most leaf less way to become engaged in something other than my thoughts
Often times I sit beside a rock that appears to be weak and small
The most hard less way to become engaged in something other than my thoughts
Most of the time, I just sit in any open space that nature provides
The most familiar place I find myself, engaged in any part of the air that will let my thoughts drift away...


© Ebony Larijani

I Met A Woman...

I have been introduced to a woman in The Book of Esther. I have been introduced to a woman in the bible named Vashti and she reminds me of many women that I know today. I have also met myself.

I intended for this bible story to form me into biblical times to imagine how things could be, but with the detail of words and phrases I feel as if I am there with them, in their time and yet they appear in me now, in my time.

He set a law for everyone, Xeres did. At first I thought it was because he wanted to control everything that he could and he hated women and wanted them all to form to mans way. But if you read further over the pages and sit with him, you find a weak man. A man who's title appears to be noble and steadfast, but this man was weak in his ways. And because he did not want the entire world looking at his failure, he put the bark of competition on women. If I bring your mind up to the current years, think of the number of women who hate each other because of what a man took part in.

There he was Xeres, upset that his own wife denied coming before him, ignoring his call for her, so he decided to make a law. Not only a law was made, he also would replace her with "someone better". I have to be honest, when I first saw the word better I immediately thought, wow! They spoke so highly of her about her beauty so who was more pretty than her, who would be better? This wasn't about looks though, this was about better in obeying him. Who could do that better than Vashti?

These next words are my own thoughts:
There it is, the bark of jealousy, rage, anger, hate, cruelty. And I don't mean bark as in the roaring sound out of a dogs mouth, but the bark of a tree. The root, the base, the core. Is this where it started? All those words filled my mind as I thought of how Vashti would feel towards the woman replacing her. Ironically the woman that replaces her would feel the same, simply because she came behind her. Would she live up to her ways, even with one mistake on her belt, still could she be better than her. It will be a silent spiritual hold that would be upon them for years, centuries maybe. The two of them, whether with him or not with him, the battle back and forth in the bark of their own minds. Is she better, what is wrong with me? I become weak in my script as I write this on my paper and even more limp when I transfer it from paper to computer. As this transferring of negative energy and emotions, yet truth.

I have only made it through chapter one of The Book of Esther and I have fallen in love with my own woman like ways, knowing the root stated in biblical time. There will be an answer in these verses.

© Ebony Larijani

Affirmation

I open my heart to receive the highest power available to me. I trust that I am being led to where I need to be... ~Pat Tovo

This is my affirmation today. I rambled it off my tongue as I lay in bed this morning. It didn't take long for my mind to start to wrap around these words. "I open", that would be me; myself. I am acknowledging that I submit myself to something. Not only myself, but a certain part of myself "my heart", this delicate beating organ that can do so many things. Now it is time to receive something, a gift, not to be torn apart by my hands with human excitement of what might be. Rather a gift of love "highest power", wow the highest power is "available to me". Yes, it is and I am releasing fear to accept this truth.

"I trust" that can be difficult at times in life, but no matter what is going on, I trust. Wait a minute, I have to pause and get this in my mind the right way, because at times I have no idea where this journey is taking me, but here we go. I trust "I am being led", by whom though? Because sometimes I feel like I am being guided by my own thoughts, other times I know it is God guiding and sometimes I feel like people are pulling me in all types of directions. But I have to remind myself, that I trust.

"Where I need to be" well honestly right now I need to be in the meditation room, followed by a massage. I don't need to be here at work that's for sure! But again, another self reminder, I trust.

This is a long affirmation with a lot of details, good details and quick reminders. I am open to God and I am trusting and am being led and the direction is where need be. What a beautiful affirmation.

Poem:
"affirm for yourself what life will be for you, in the mist of chaos you don't want to find yourself trying to train a mind that was already out of order and now in a panic... you want to be prepared when life does what life does... the good and the bad will come, so prepare to enjoy it with the affirmed knowledge of a calm trained mind" ~ Ebony Larijani


(c) since 2011, Ebony Larijani

Share your talent

www.blogtalkradio.com/fluentmotion

Day 1 challenge

Challenge: Take a moment today to contemplate what moves you, what gets you fired up, what makes you, uniquely you. Now, create a list of 5 things that describe your essence. Pick a small object that represents each (a favorite book for a passion for words, a treasured necklace from your kids) and make an altar of them in a place you will see them daily.

1. Poetry
2. Writing
3. Reading
4.Intimacy
5. Nature

1. And She Healed; On Purpose, my first published poetry book. It always reminds me of my true desire that moves me to see life through my own eyes, yet with an open mind and unusual thought. 

2. My journal, it is full of half written pages and 2 pages letters, some that I have never thought to mail, but a simple release. 

3. The zillion books I have that spread through each room in my home, to my car, to my office, even  the new age on my Nook and in my purse. I love reading

4. I use to search for this until I remembered my birth right. I was born in love. I desire the soft kiss, the love for my body. I receive it in my mirror, daily and at any moment I chose. 

5. It's always before me, in site and touch, I even smell it at times. 

This weekend I plan to make my altar of these things. 

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani 

Caught Myself Loosing the Moment

I was driving into work this morning, scrambling through the channels, singing whatever sounded good on the radio. With the rush of energy from recording the night before still in my blood I plugged in my own tunes and drifted off into delight hearing my own voice through the speakers. I kept one poem on reply, I like it that much.
I thought to myself "wow, why can't everyday be this traffic-free". I immediately stopped myself after reading an article about how we don't live in the moment. We say things like "I hope it is this warm tomorrow", "I wish I could eat this everyday", "I hope he calls me again tomorrow". Instead of being in joy of the that fact it actually is happening.
I turned my volume up even louder and I enjoyed the traffic-free drive in! I enjoyed every moment of it and I never again repeated "why can't" because it certainly was!
In moments are so liberating and moving, especially when you catch yourself actually having a moment.

I did it, wished I had something that I did for that moment, I wow'd myself in fact, realizing how enjoyable the moment was, who cared what the next days brought, or what the last days were fought with, I had it, in present time, it was mine to enjoy and I lived it...

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Get Involved - Children's Hospital Donations

On Jan 4th, Vivid Mirror Reflections and other Organizations/Business's will gather to take coloring books, crayons, and stuffed animals to Children's Hospital.
If you would like to participate in any way please send me an email:

vividmirror@yahoo.com

God Bless...

The Peace of Being this Holiday

What a spectacular time I had this holiday season, from Thanksgiving all the way through Christmas and now into the new year. How pleasant it was to "just be", I noticed so many things around me and different characteristics in family/friends. I know the lack of judgement coming from my thoughts played a huge role. I spent Thanksgiving with my father and all of my children and brothers and sisters. If you know my history then you would question where my smile came from that day.Well it came from love, that was all I had to give and in return all that was filled back. Laughter filled our table and stories tapped through the forks as if the glasses were being hit with delight. I was in bliss during a time that use to captivate me in rigid anger.
Christmas just passed and there were less people at my Grandmas house this year, due to some not being able to travel that far. It was pleasant for me though, it was an opportunity for me to sit at the adult table. I have the most children out of my siblings so usually I volunteer to sit at the kiddie table. What a delight, I forgot about the things adults talk about. My older brother encouraged me to share a story of the things that I have been doing lately and it was a great set up for lots of laughter at the table. I wanted to roll on the floor with excitement like the dog that lay under my feet, even my moms dog got to join in on the fun! My ride home was not that lonely thing that I usually dread with the kids fighting in the back seat, I had my big brother with me and what a delight we had blasting the radio playing songs that our parents once listened to. I guess we pulled out our age card. I must have cuddled with my youngest and played tons of video games once we got home until I wanted to stop but kept going. Wow, life is amazing in moments.
Here we are now approaching New Years, I spoke about this on my Internet Radio Show that I host every Wednesday and Saturday live at 9pm, if you have ever missed it please check it out, www.blogtalkradio.com/fluentmotion I spoke about how I don't make a Resolution, it is too damaging for me, it puts me in a place of constant stress on myself. To resolute to do something specific just for a new year. I can't do that to myself. Instead I take baby steps with it. I take each day at a time and therefore I am always striving to be better. I fail and I have accomplished laughing at myself or crying with myself. My mirror affirmations have taken a whole new high on my life, I love them in the morning, at work, at night, where ever, when ever.
Well, I just wanted to stop for a moment and say I hope you are enjoying your holidays, no matter where you are or what you are going through, just be...

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Past Is Not Here

In the book "A Course In Miracles" it speaks about how if we are always thinking about the past and allowing the present moment to reflect the past, then we are in an illusion. Nothing is real. We may see a text message from someone and we are reminded of a past experience. We may hear words from a friend and it takes us back to a time when.

What if for the present moment, everything that you experience can be as if it has never happened before, because in fact it has not. That is when you live in the present moment and that is how love conquers over all else. Have you ever had an enemy speak to you and because you have labeled them enemy based off past experiences, how will you ever hear what they are saying in present moment? You will not, because everything that comes out of their mouth is in your mind "coming from an enemy". And when you hear the word enemy all of your guards go up, so you are not hearing their words as you should, without any past attachments.

Take some time today to be present. And let everything that is happening to you be happening for the first time, even if your mind says "this has happened to me before"


(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

To be 10 Again...

Last night on my blog talk radio show I read a poem titled "10 Again". We asked callers to write something about being 10yrs old again and all of the submissions were great. One thing we came to realize was...
~ I would like to think kid like when boarding a plane so that the anxiety would be removed
~ I dedicate myself to being kid-like at least once a day
~ We all have an inner child within us that wants to play
~ Don't let life become so fearful that you tuck a child within, cornered to the illusions

Here is my poem:
I removed all the rawness from my spine, one vertebra at a time, until my age aligned one plus nine, I was 10 again as if I mirrored an image on what imagination can pretend, delicate to a woman's glare, improper in heels I wiggled a bit, lipstick smeared, I'm the cutest little mess, but I'm 10 so to play like this is the joy of being a kid again, but what if at age 10 I had to be mommy, cook clean and nothing is pretend, I'm caring for siblings and I'm tired, I can't pretend, but you won't find a smile on this face if I have to clean again, my little sister looks up to me and I'm only 10...I'm 10 and this little boy has a sharp edge on his back because daddy is gone and I have to be that, I'm only 10 but I'm man or at least that's what they think of me because I'm filling in for his position, they bad mouth that real man, the one who stayed long enough to keep getting in mommy's pants, until I was the conclusion... I'm only 10 and this seems innocent but I know it only takes one time and I'm a child having a child of mine, I'm scared, I'm only 10, puberty is like a pink rose, I'm that innocent within... I'm only 10 this is supposed to be a time to let my hair wind, to lay by the seashore and be everything I can imagine, is this 10?... my the years have flown by since I blew out all of them, candles and cake, presents from friends, what a joy to be 10 as my minds rumbles through many of them...

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Free to love

For who you are, not what you could be or what you aren't, but who you are from your soul, that is how I see you and that is why I am filled with gratitude in moments with you, thank... you... in the deepest form of love, may peace be upon you, sustained in piano keys of life, the black and the white, press on, so the sound may music through and all keys and patters of beat will willow through, the tune of I love you...

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

That word...

Yes, I did it. I used a word on live radio that I knew was not correct term. It was more slang and most often slang can be the insulting version of the correct word. For instance not many Police Officers like to be called Cops.
I am sure you are waiting to hear my word, so here it goes. I can't believe I have to say it again.... Bum! Yes I used that word instead of Homeless. I did not even realize it until my sharing host said something to me during our break. I was mortified! How could I have done that, I was speaking nicely about how I helped the homeless person. I wasn't sure whether I should bring it up again and apologize, I mean we had already moved onto the rest of the show. Do I act like nothing was said, I wondered if it was muffled or clearly heard. CLEARLY heard she told me. Oh great. It has been eating me up for days, not because I used it. But because I didn't explain behind it that it is the word I use when I see a homeless person and I have dedicated myself to work on using the proper word. Because if shoes were to change feet I would want the same respect.

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Breast Cancer

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fluentmotion/2013/10/31/breast-cancer-survivor-weaving-her-way-to-joy

It's Friday

It's Friday and there is always a racket of thunder roaring through the halls, the vibe of employee walks seems to be a bit more upbeat, is it the weekend plans, are we just thrilled to get away from the 9-5 land, at what point on the weekend do we dread returning again, who said we had to hate Mondays and love Fridays, what do the people love that work half days, what excites the mother that stays at home or the man who is teleworking from the comfort of his man cave, what is the thrill about good ole Fridays, I'm not quite thrilled at the moment, rather pissed that i woke up at 6am and i guess that Friday vibe hasn't hit me yet, cause I'm in that 8am zone of staring at the clock and wondering how long the tick will tock just to get me to 5pm, or wait i forgot today I'm leaving early, so maybe a thrill has shivered up my spine, arched my back and made my chair incline, you aught to know I'm not going to get anything done from this angle

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Fluent Motion

Please tune in every Wednesday and Satuday at 9pm
www.blogtalkradio.com/fluentmotion
718-508-9625
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A Nightmare of a Dream.... the highlights of life

I had a dream last night, it is too personal to share, but I wrote about it in poetic and outrage form. It was amazing, I sent it to a friend who is a poet also and she replied to it with powerful words. Have you ever exhaled so many words only to turn and take them all back in, filling your mind enough to cloud any area of doubt that this was the end of pain. I feel amazing, thankful for a dream that I turned nightmare when I rose with an gasp. 

My hair was a mess today because of it, for I could not stop thinking about it as I prepared for my day. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror without saying “stop thinking about it”. It wasn’t until I had enough of self talk that I decided to let it go and I did, we did. I see now why God places certain people in our lives at certain times. I needed my poet friend today, no one else would have created words so powerful. They hit my eyes so hard that they began to shed water, isn’t that amazing, to release water from your eyes to wash away everything that once made them cry. 

I saved it, the writings we did today. I want to take them further, maybe place them in the book that I have been writing for a year now. I love taking my time with writing, had I rushed I would have messed a very important word….. Freedom

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Writing Assignment, Week 2

In your journal, write down a list of at least five to ten nouns and five to ten adjectives as you observe a scene at home, work, or in your community.

1. microwave
2. glass
3. book
4. stove
5. dog
6. lamp
7. desk
8. rug
9. sock
10. paper

1. hot
2. cold
3. dark
4. round
5. dirty
6. long
7. wet
8. white
9. black
10. sheer

"A poets mind can wrap around assignments with great delight in allowing the use of words to transform thought... I was prepared to waist space in my journal and think about things that I needed to break from, like every day life and just be free to rotate around an assignment that made me silence my mind long enough to educate"

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani

Writer's Time

I don't know whether to call it procrastination or writer's block, so I decided to make it sound great and I call it writer's time. It when I take that long break of not writing anything in my blogs/websites. I hope it doesn't discourage you from visiting time to time. I don't do it on purpose, but I have learned that my best time to write is when I write. That may not make sense but it fits my journal.

"Leave me alone, not lonely, but alone to wallow in my guilt and surf on my cloud nine, my script is best ink when my mind is sound enough to letter, but crazy enough to untangle, the alphabet is full of straight and crooked letters, and I use them all"

"Pretty is a definition to be redefined, I see so many make-up faces, yet pretty isn't any of them"

"A room full of journals may tell many things... one, life is amazing... two, life is ruff... and three, we all live it"

"The mint bit the bite of her breath, exhaling more than smell, but solitude of air"

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani