Thursday, March 20, 2014

I Met A Woman...

I have been introduced to a woman in The Book of Esther. I have been introduced to a woman in the bible named Vashti and she reminds me of many women that I know today. I have also met myself.

I intended for this bible story to form me into biblical times to imagine how things could be, but with the detail of words and phrases I feel as if I am there with them, in their time and yet they appear in me now, in my time.

He set a law for everyone, Xeres did. At first I thought it was because he wanted to control everything that he could and he hated women and wanted them all to form to mans way. But if you read further over the pages and sit with him, you find a weak man. A man who's title appears to be noble and steadfast, but this man was weak in his ways. And because he did not want the entire world looking at his failure, he put the bark of competition on women. If I bring your mind up to the current years, think of the number of women who hate each other because of what a man took part in.

There he was Xeres, upset that his own wife denied coming before him, ignoring his call for her, so he decided to make a law. Not only a law was made, he also would replace her with "someone better". I have to be honest, when I first saw the word better I immediately thought, wow! They spoke so highly of her about her beauty so who was more pretty than her, who would be better? This wasn't about looks though, this was about better in obeying him. Who could do that better than Vashti?

These next words are my own thoughts:
There it is, the bark of jealousy, rage, anger, hate, cruelty. And I don't mean bark as in the roaring sound out of a dogs mouth, but the bark of a tree. The root, the base, the core. Is this where it started? All those words filled my mind as I thought of how Vashti would feel towards the woman replacing her. Ironically the woman that replaces her would feel the same, simply because she came behind her. Would she live up to her ways, even with one mistake on her belt, still could she be better than her. It will be a silent spiritual hold that would be upon them for years, centuries maybe. The two of them, whether with him or not with him, the battle back and forth in the bark of their own minds. Is she better, what is wrong with me? I become weak in my script as I write this on my paper and even more limp when I transfer it from paper to computer. As this transferring of negative energy and emotions, yet truth.

I have only made it through chapter one of The Book of Esther and I have fallen in love with my own woman like ways, knowing the root stated in biblical time. There will be an answer in these verses.

© Ebony Larijani