A New What

It is hard for one to make a New Year Resolution, when I make so many daily goals. What is a resolution anyways, how does it differ from goals/achievements/lessons/etc. Resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. Isn't that a goal, which defines achievements that took lessons? So this year I can't say I have a New Year’s Resolution, simply because I do this daily. And the digit of 12 turning to 13 is no different than the calendar days of 1-31 sometimes 30 and I don't stress doubling up on a goal to balance that missing last day.

It's a New Year, soon we will have a new season and from that we will have new ages and new places will find us if we don't find them first. Everything is new; each moment is a new moment. I can't suppress my mind to think that I need to make one huge promise (resolution) to myself to stop something or start something. That is just too much for my mind to handle. So if you ask what is my New Year’s Resolution I will be proud to say I don't have one, but if you follow me through the year you will see my morning goal, mid-day goal, full moon goal, half-moon goal, sunrise goal, rain goal, seasons changing goal, etc.

You may think that is too much for the mind to handle but it actually frees my mind to know that each moment; each event in life is a new beginning and new beginning free old/common ways.
Happy New Year to you all and let earth allow you to set resolutions/goals daily.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Made Wrong Right

I made this wrong thing right because I got tired of the fights, not between me and him, but between me and me. They were like little voices in my head, they didn't fear me, they just drove me crazy and made me think about things that really weren't. They told truth and then made me question, told lies and then made me transform them to truth. What mess had I gotten myself into?

It was more than a mess, it was a dirt pile, and instead of weeding through and making sense I somehow unconsciously seemed to wallow in it like a pig. I felt dirty, fat, ugly. I wiped my face only to turn to the other side and get it dirty again. I rubbed so hard that it smeared and smudged into my eyes and left me with semi sight.

There was something crazy about this dirt though. I liked it here, I kept coming back here. Bathed in it as if it was clear. Tried to shower in it but couldn't. Tried to build castles with it but it wasn't intended for that. Saw it as colorful and it held only brown. I tried to make it everything it wasn't and then I wondered why it kept letting me down. Letting me down, I think not, I was letting it down, I was trying to make it something it wasn't. It was put in my life to teach me something but what can it teach me if I try to learn off it based on my obligations and not what it was really. It was dirt, but it was my dirt and if I didn't accept it as that, then everything I made it out to be was unreal and unteachable.

You would be amazed with the things you can do with dirt. I became amazed how soft and sensual dirt is. I'm glad I finally allowed it to be what it is, or I may have kept running back to it looking for something that it never was.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sexy Is Back

Where did we leave it, I have seen woman from the 18th Century in fully covered cloths and pinned up hair look amazingly stunning. No cleavage, no skinny jeans, no half tops showing off stomachs flat or round... I am bringing my sexy back, 18th Century sexy that is, where I'm clothed from head to toe, and I may place all of this long black hair in a tight bun... I want to walk with elegance and stumble on my heels with a giggle, I want to walk in a room and not be noticed because I desire less and left obligation of ego needing more... I want business suits and sweat suits to feel the same on me no matter how different it may look to the world... I want lip gloss that looks so dim against my genuine smile... My sexy is back and it has a modern sleek to it...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

What At This Moment, Is Lacking?

I once read that Zen said it is good to ask yourself this often... "What at this moment, is lacking"? I asked myself this the other day and I came up with; nothing. I couldn't think of one thing that was lacking at the moment. I thought of things that I want different or want period, but nothing was lacking. How amazing is that feeling! I gasp for air in the realization because I didn't expect this to be my own answer.
 
I now ask myself this often, just so I can get the feeling of 'nothing' again. Along with this feeling other things become so true. Less is more, to be in the moment is bliss, without this there is still that, and it is what it is. Wow, a simple question that I thought would have my pen running out of ink turned into breathe.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Skin

I wish I could wash you off my skin cause you itch me and here I go again, entertaining the thought of all the ways you gain control and I lose it to hours of questions and wonders and I sit in doubt and search in pain and feel the way I felt last time it rained, but in ego's presence what else can I do but hate, wait, relate and be it's bait...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

I Love Love

I rise with affirmations of personal growth. I meditate of vibes deep within. I feel the essence of pure ego-less conception. I watch the life of the birds soar, confirming what the bible said that He even feeds the birds. Confirmation of my faith, overlooking all that does not fit into the minds thoughts. 

Behind a hidden cloud the sun peeks and I am in awe of the days blessings. Surely they are headed my way, I feel this and understand this to be true.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Writing Is A Gift

Writing is a gift, from God and to myself. Every time I write things release from me and I feel amazing. Writers block, I use to blame on the devil. But I have studied much about the mind and I learned not to blame everything on the devil. Sometimes it's my own mind who keeps me from fulfilling myself. See the ego knows what it wants, what it desires, but the problem is, it doesn't know how to get it. Spirit knows how! So as I experience writer's block, I say to myself, "ego I am removing you, because you have this desire with no idea how to fulfill". Suddenly my pen takes flight and I write. If that doesn't work I read my past writings and it stimulates me.

I write to right
and in my right mind
I write
not always on the right
so I hear the left is smart too
but eventually I write,
isn't that right
bright light, comes from
the light bulb of rite
and within I begin right
because I ended right

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Loneliness Together

We are all here in search of home. We are all together, rising and falling. We are together and yet we are alone. Together we search for love by posting a status to inform the world what we are doing. Yet how many of us have reached out to our elders to share what we are going through. It says in the bible that the elders are to pray for us. 

How many of us have searched in ourselves to go home. Home is not the hard brick walls that surround us. Home is the soft loving inner self that entered this world in peace. Have you noticed how happy people are around babies? That is because babies remind us to love, laugh and be free. 

We are together on the road, texting searching for something that accidentally kills us. We are in shopping stores running into walls, tripping into each other because we are on our phones, again in search of things that are within. We are together every day and because you are not home, and I am not home, together we are alone. 

Reminds me of the story in the bible where they were on a journey for 40 years when they could have arrived in 11 days. 

We are so lost, yes you, me, we. Please go home to your inner self so we all may be in peace with ourselves and with each other.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Play In Paradise

I have been in deep thought about the event in CT. I have been at a loss of words, I have dropped to my knees and cried, not as if, but because I too am parent of those children that died. I am friend/sister/daughter to the adults that died. I am friend/stranger/neighbor/sister to the gunman. We all are!

We all need to feel some sort of did we do enough, are we doing enough? Are we changing the world together for better? I have no hate in my heart for the young boy who took so many lives, I can not bring my heart/mind to be angry at him, because I too fell short of saving him. And with obiedent honesty I say to you, you fell short too! I want you to think back over your past weeks, in traffic did you experience road rage. In the grocery store did you stand in line in silence or where you open to communicate with those in line with you. Did you show anger to someone who got your order wrong. Did you push/shove/knock during the holiday shopping rush? Are you awakening to what I am saying? Someone needed you to be the one with the smile, the one with the kind words, because who you affect, the next affects.

What if today, what you do will affect a neighbor two doors down, and tomorrow she will have opportunity to react different in silence and sound, and she will affect two states over when the travel reaches corner to corner, and two states over will touch oceans and seas apart when another boards a plane with open heart, and when air touches land and a gentlemen shakes a hand, the affect still began with you, and here we are face to face strangers amongst the crew, and as I turn, you turn and our shoulders brush and I give you a warm welcome feeling that you lack in touch, and because you felt something so deep, we describe it as Gods sheep, just as you sit to load your gun we replay the events of the world today... can you view the flash, scenes on play, rewinding to the beginning of ones day, when cause and affect began at dusk, and the bullets could have easily been unloaded in the middle of loves trust, had the last person to see this young boy, been the first stranger who saw you today receiving unconditional love per God's request, maybe this gun mans pain could have been defeated had the devil not put him to the test, knowing we all were too busy to give/love more and be self-less...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Memory

I can recall, I will probably remember often, because that’s how I was built to hold onto, remember when, and keep clue… I sure do remember today, but others don’t, I easily sink in the feeling, others have to be reminded… I wasn’t in substance, I was in clear view… I even paused, no I stopped on my intake because I vividly saw what it can do… I was in a role that was not even mine, girlfriend, wife, quite friend, but in mind I didn’t mind… I doubled the fun, doubled the children that I take was subject to raise from… I was the friend of everyone lost, I listened with ease because I didn’t want anyone to loss their worth at their own cost… 

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

When Do You Cry

When do you cry young man, do you know how to release... when do you break, and understand the need to weep... I see you stand, I've seen you fight... but at what point can someone other then yourself stand upright... where do you go when the job won't hire, how do you feed the child and the woman you admire... do you get on your knees, have you ever seen God from that view... or does he only become a vision after your man has been shot down to death right beside you... does child birth bring you to tears or force you to armor up more... are you intimated by the daughter or son who might be yours... do you read, do you write, I have heard your spit a rap, but that was in the midst of drunken bottles and weed pass... where do you go cause we all need a place, we all need a time, we all need to face... where are you now, tired at work, imprisoned with pain, husslin on the corner, laying in someone else's bed, overseas on battle, angry in your mothers home, homeless or alone... where do you go, when do you cry, please sit still and allow the tears to deplete your pride...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Bare Naked

The intamicy of bare naked allowed me to feel it deep, the raw feeling of truth, the immediate connection of whatever was within, the beauty, the uncomfortable feeling, the awareness, the self, the wetness of water, the place to stand weak, warm and cold, the fear felt without clothing to hood over the head and hide, the worry felt without a sweater to wrap tight and hold close, the confusion, the hate, anger and more, awe the smile, the focus, the blessing of being able to take another's pain and reach deep within to share it, the stranger, the neighbor, the enemy, the friend, the mother, father, spouse, children, awe the awaking of going this deep within, the giggle of coming out of the gap, the memory of, the shower, the place to wash away, dry off and walk away

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Breathe Worth Kept

I have been meditating for quite some time now. It takes me to a quiet breath focused moment for several moments. I have realized many things from meditation, but one thing that I realized this morning is that the intake and outtake is normal. It is everything in between that can cause an adjustment. The thought, the voice, the sight; all of these things can adjust the breath if I allow.

I conversed with you
inhale
I listened to you
exhale
I adjusted, my seat that is not my mood
inhale
I smiled even though you did not
exhale
I wondered, not pertaining to breath
inhale
I expressed and I gave examples
exhale
I listened for your understanding
inhale
I received none, oh wait... no none
exhale
I accepted your way
inhale
I kept my tone
exhale
I changed stations
inhale
Not to suit you
exhale
I imagined, still focused though
inhale
I reached a communication end
exhale
And kept all other breathes
inhale, exhale... the beauty of breath

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Heart, Not The Mind

For years I followed my mind, the very thing that has directed me to places that the heart nearly died from. I 'thought' that what it told me and where it guided me must have surely been the route that I was suppose to be on. But when I found out that I was born lead by love, yet raised to beleive the mind, so many things became mixed up.

When I tell you that I am mindful it does not indicate that I'm guided by my thoughts. It indicates that I am concious of my thoughts and do not ignore them. Have you ever had something or someone in your life that haunted you the more you ignored? Well that is what the mind will do to you if you try to ignore the truth that it is telling you. The mind does not lie so listen to it carefully and focus on it often. What it tells you whether negative or positive it holds truth, it is in its correct state at each moment.

It bothers me often when someone says "that is such a bad thing to think, don't think that". Well I'm here to rearrange that statement. I want you to think that, I want you to understand why you are thinking that and what you feel from thinking that. It may take a million negative thoughts before you realize that they are not lies, they are just human expressions that can give you a boost back to where you were born from.

You were born from love and love comes from the heart. Be mindful so you may understand why you think what you think, but always turn back to your natural state, which is of the heart and the heart holds an abondant amount of love.

I was mindful yesterday
when I felt the need to experience pain
I was careful yes, but mindful
I was weak to speak
Because of what I heard
I was taken into a sense of familiar
I was withtaken from a moment
I was mistaken, now awaken
I think I thought my heart would damage
Making path unable to be lead
I know I wondered if my mind was hearing correct
I lost sense of time, until the butterfly flew
I lost my path, until the wing appeared damaged
I thought of how silly they would sound
To tell me I had a butterfly on my head
I pictured the caterpiller it once was

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Many Signs

"Work Truck, Do Not Follow" that is what the sign said on the truck in front of me. Here I am again, breaking down words; taking the first one - work. I thought well if you are doing work and I assume large work being that you are a truck, then why would I want to follow you anyways? Why does that word work make me think hard labor, instead of constant study.

Don't we always zoom around these big trucks who either drive to slow or are too big to see over. What am I upset for though as I zoom around them. They are doing what they were built to do, drive and with all of the weight they hold can I expect them to go any faster. So yes in my thought right now work seems bad, heavy and routine. But work can also be a constant move, doesn't have to be fast or slow, just on going.

I purposely stayed behind this truck as I thought "do not follow", follow, what do you mean follow. I am not following you, I am simply driving behind you. Where are you going that you think one wants to follow. Or do you mean "do not ride close" is that what follow defines here. Then this I can understand because too close to you and I may run into the back of you. To close to you and I may not be able to flow with the traffic, again causing a break should I need to hit my break. You may stop frequently or something may fall off your truck.

Eventually we came to a stop light and water began to roll out the back of the truck, it is brown water from all the dirt covered on this truck, but I'm not so focused on the dirt. I'm really focused on the fact that if I follow anyone, anything, then my flow through life is not free. I was filled with glee when I took note to how easily the water came out the back of the truck, slid down and dripped off the bottom to hit the ground. I meditated on the smoothness of unguided flow, nothing forced.

Are you working, are you weighed down like a truck, are you following...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Lost In Art

I have never read a book on Shakespeare, until it was given to me. Now I can't put it down, fascinated and completely admired.
I never finger painted as an adult, until I bought some. Now I lay on my floor some night and make a beautiful mess.
I never wrote nothing in my journals, until I noticed it felt odd and then felt better than calling a friend.

(C) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Leave The Thought Process

Lately I have ventured into writing without thinking. I know that doesn't sound logic, but to those that have done it, you understand. It was hard for me at first to be given a word and told to write until the page runs out, yet write without thinking.

What is funny is that once my hand started moving and words were scripting it wasn't until I began to 'think' wow I can do this, that I lost script.

This powerful mind of ours, I feel like in younger years we are taught to fill it, educate it and feed it with so much knowledge. Now in my older days I am finding I am supposed to leave it and move without it and that is the true power. Not to train the mind, but to overcome what it has been accustom to all these years.

-----------------------------
I left, yet I was there, not here, but there, in the gap, not in the middle, not of center space, not in outer space, but in the complete bliss of silence, noise on dem, no darkness, yet dark, clear view, nothing memorable, nothing to take back with me, but mere being, in my being, with fulfillment to know my way back, the breath-taking level of being in breath, eliminating, but no limiting...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

I Don't Want A Watch

What am I doing with this watch, I have no time to watch, who uncovered the clock, I don't want to say what has time for this and what has knot's, laced up shoes I'm on my spot, ready to run, but why clock, my time is precious and I need not watch, turning back the hands or adjusting digital clocks, you don't control the ready set go stop watch, tick-tock, I'm not adjusting my spot...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Notes of Notes

I bought a book today, it is full of small notes that reflect on Love and Courage. I couldn’t resist, my mind was spinning and my hand began to move as the pen sketched across the pages. Not my notebook pages, but the pages of the book. I seem to be doing that lately, writing within the pages of purchased books. I felt guilty at first, my script will keep me from being able to lend it. But something comes over me when I write right on the pages. My pen pours out ink with a different level, you know the medium, thin.

I thought of self as I read the notes and I script about self too. I wasn’t embarrassed about feelings, I let them all ride. Whether they were good/bad, past/present, nothing future for I was relating to these notes and so I had to know the experience well.

It took courage to write the notes I did about myself and it took love to be so honest. Now what will it take to lend the book anyway even though my personal notes sketch the pages.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Aftermath Reflection

I spent a hours indoors, not by choice but by power. Earthly power, wind force, rain fall; Sandy was her name. I felt trapped until I defined what trapped means. It is used when speaking about animals; to capture them and keep them within, against their will. Most often when animals are trapped they become aggressive, restless, and sometimes violent. By no means was I trapped.

It was time for me to search why I was indoors.Why did God shut down everything? I can assume because the Wall Street worker took no time off to spend with his family. The Doctor missed all his children's school plays. The single mother had no idea what her children were doing after school. The rush hour was causing stress for too many. The dedicated worker was providing reports without a single recognition. Whom was I to judge the reasons?  Something was meant to be found and I was the only one responsible for finding everything out, but only about myself.

While most were in a state of panic or fear I knew that wasn't my normal state, so I found no comfort there. Most filled up on food and water. I stacked up on food, water, books, projects. Some sat and watched the news report every minute of Sandy's path. I watched the pages flip in my bible, and the pen grace my paper. I wondered if it was the last days what was I proud of, what needed to change. I wasn't fearful though, I knew it wasn't the last days, I knew it was a time to understand my life. I thought about no one but myself, not selfishly, but honestly, seriously and genuinely.

I colored like a child because I needed to find what still held me captive in my adult years from my childhood. I finger painted, because I needed to know it was okay to make a mess. I wrote until my hands hurt because I needed to understand pain is good. I listened to the sound of dolphins because I wanted to know we are all one. I allowed emotions to fill me no matter who judged me, even if the only one judging was me. I felt everything; when the wind hit, I felt weak. When the rain fell I felt wet. When the temperature changed I felt cold. Nothing was hidden from myself.

By midnight my list of affirmations was two pages long. I couldn't believe it but just to look over the pages made me smile. My letters were deep and honestly written. My mind was so at peace that all I knew was nothing. It was freedom, and to be free in the middle of a hurricane was a blessing.

I don't know what time I fell asleep? I remember ending my night on my knees in true submission to my Heavenly Father. Thanking Him for protection and asking Him for protection. I remember oiling myself down with my Lavender Oil, putting my hair in a bun and resting on a bible as soft as my pillow.

Thank you Sandy for being as powerful as you were. For you allowed me to be as powerful as I am.

(c) 2012 Ebony Larijani

What Controls You

I hope the answer is nothing!

Are you in a hurry to get ahead in that line, then those in front of you control you
Are you eager to get the car before them, then they control you
Are you trying to get higher pay then your coworker, then the coworker controls you
Are you trying to prove something to someone, then someone controls you
Are you out to pay him/her back, then him/her controls you
Do you hate, then hate controls you

Love is the most free thing that has no control...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Take Off Your Mask

Have you noticed, well I'm sure you have. That masks have holes in them only for your eyes, hiding the rest of your face. Possibly making it hard to breath. And surly causing your voice to be turned down.
What type of trick to treat is that? Covering up who you are, taking your air, tampering your voice, possibly scaring people and tricking yourself. I know it's close to Halloween, but I ask that you take off your mask. Show who you truly are and don't allow the peep hole of a mask that doesn't show the real you be the only vision others have of you.

"Who put your mask on,
surly not you
who indicated this false
to be true
who colored the colors
outlined the frame
who did you allow
to dictate your name
holes of view
what do you see
are you dimmed
to lights degree
are you slightly in squint
to avoid the eyelashes
from touching the rim
quickly closing
as normal reaction
is your voice screaming
yet sounding so faint
are you gasping
for the air
chocking on paint
plastic does not rip
nor does cloth break
your choices are slim
tied to suffocate"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Keep Changing The Statistics

My conversation with a young black man was very intriguing this morning. It made my insides smile and then my lips couldn't help but to follow in the joyful curl. We spoke about careers and children. He began to tell me that he is a single father so he could not join the Air Force, but that didn't stop him. He said he is joining the Navy instead. However; currently he is on light duty at work because he hurt his ankle, as he goes in and out of doctor appointments he prays nothing is broken. I'm sure no one wants a broken bone, but in his situation a broken bone will keep him from being able to join the Navy. I had to ask his age because by looks I thought 25, but by his character I thought maybe 27. He then told me he just turned 30. My mouth dropped. "I know, I know" he said. Then we both just laughed.

I returned to my quiet self and just thought how proud I am of him. Why was I holding these thoughts in? I always do that, I always clam up. Not this time though! I began to tell him how he is changing the statistics and that I am proud of him and he has no idea how wonderful he is creating his daughters life. He just sat and listened to me taking it all in, his back began to straighten and his shoulders became broad. I knew he was feeling the joy inside as well. We spoke of family life, grandparents, brothers, sisters, parents. We spoke of heritage as his comes from the Islands and we found we have the family line of Jamaica in us both.

The more I spoke about how proud he made me the more I felt joy and the more he shared. It was like we both were sitting in this bubble of joy and no one was breaking it. What I haven't told you yet is 2 days prior I heard him on the phone with a friend and he was saying how his father has never been in his life and he will never forgive him or speak to him. I sat in silence thinking "this poor lost soul". I wasn't moved to say anything to him 2 days ago, I was just moved to pray for him. Now I sit in delight as God has shown me. He may not be on the journey yet of healing from his fathers pain. However he is on a journey of becoming a great father himself and that's what we reflected on.

We all go through journeys in life. If we don't focus on the ones that still need work, maybe they can heal on their own. I watched this young man have joy in his heart when he spoke about being a father and a single father at that. Subconcioucly he's hating the person that didn't feel the same towards him, but conciously he is loving and it shows in his daughters life.

So what you have some issues/hate/lack, or whatever else. Let's focus on what you have that's on a rise. I guarantee you one day both journeys will meet (the one on the rise and the one you still suffer in) and when they do you will define balance.

P.S. We have not stopped talking, we are now talking about our dreams and what we are taking baby steps towards becoming.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Only Difference

"The only difference between what you see
is what you have seen
and now can not see
the difference in what you have seen
and what you see
is what you think
is always seen
the thought of what you think
is no different
then what you have thought
if you can't rethink
because of what you've seen
what have you seen
what have you thought
what about what you've never seen
where is everything you've never thought
is there a resting place
hiding place
you haven't peeked in
for all the sights
all the thoughts
unsurfaced
not minded"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

I Missed You

"My eyes were on your mistakes,
my finger touched your bad behavior
my mouth spoke of your wrong doings
my heart ached for your pain
my arms pushed back your ignorance
I wondered how you could be whom you are
what makes you no good
was it a childhood
misunderstood
did your mother lack
what your father attacked
were your siblings in starlight view
did you stumble
I'm looking for clues
then I picked up a mirror
reflection so deep
I read my bible
I've been deceived
I missed your smile that you always have
I missed the love that you give
missed the little child whom you protected
I missed the God in you
to the stranger I brushed shoulders with
to the coworker I never witnessed
the sister, my sister
the brother, my brother
the friend, your friend
the father, my father
the mother, my mother
I missed all of human kind
because I whined
complained about
pointed at
mouthed over
arm wrestled against
I missed you, yes you
the God that lives in you"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

My Nails Are Tinted

"Purple, pink, blue, brown
my nails are tinted and my mind is sound
red, yellow, black, gold
my nails are tinted I can't carry this load
white, green, glitter, tan
my nails are tinted, look, look at my hands
neon, metallic, stripes, french mani
my nails are tinted, this delight comes in handy
don't touch they are wet
no smudging
no poking
no rubbing
my nails are tinted my color choices is broad
I giggle when I paint three and then change my mind
I smile when I paint my toes
which don't match my hands
and with the fall forecast
they wont be seen
my nails are tinted, do not touch
I love to look down at them in a mid days rush"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Self-help Doesn't Work, Without Self Acceptance

I read The Daily Love every morning and this morning it amazed me how my reading had much to do with my daily thoughts over the past two weeks.

It started a week ago when a friend of mine had asked to borrow a book. "Not my book, not the book that I just really couldn't get into reading because it made me feel strange, kind of too deep for me. Not my book that has been siting collecting dust because I can't force myself to pick it up again. Not my book". Isn't that a human nature that comes out so easy, is it competition or fear or misunderstanding? Who knows what it is, but I had it bad. With awkward force I picked up the book a few times before I had given it to this friend and each time I picked it up, I set it down only to read the book that was under it. I had to silence my thoughts of "she is going to be better then me if she reads this book before me cause I know it can be life changing".

Here I was once again not feeling good enough, trying to keep up with whatever lay in my eye sight. As I prayed about the situation I remember hearing "you aren't ready for this and so why are you trying to balance on a beam not constructed for your feet". It was time to deliver the book. I find it ironic what happened next. The day I delivered the book I jogged it to my friend, I don't know why because this was way out of my jogging let alone walking range. But there I was on a cloudy day, with come and go rain, jogging with this book in a book bag on my back. In case your thinking it; yes I have a car, there are 3 cars in my driveway. So here I am in cool weather that I normally don't like either, with my earphones in and my jog in full gear. Half way there I realized this jog was a mistake and my car would have been a better choice, but I kept jogging. When I felt weak I praised God for my feet and my legs. I have taken care of people who are wheelchair bound so how selfish of me to dislike this jog. When my breath became weak I praised Him because I have had a child that out grew asthma and I thought how selfish of me to dislike this jog.

When I reached the home I felt joy come over me, I had made it. I had done what God intended for me that day and I didn't do it the easy way. I was moved to do it the tough way. As the book touched her hands I knew it had reached its home and I knew the person who stood in front of me was a petal-less woman once and I was excited to see the stem this book would create for her. As I left to head home I was filled with energy and passion. I began to jog and the rain began to fall, I smiled because for the first time I was doing something that I had never done. I was jogging in the rain and it felt so good. God was washing away all of the feelings I had about myself over this book. I ran so fast and with such excitement that I got home faster then it took me to get there. I was wet, I was with breath, I was sore, I was so tired that it felt so good. I was released and I was renewed.

Days had gone by and here I was standing in another friends house, and unexpectidly, she was giving me a book. I opened the book when I got home and it was amazing, I could not put it down, it spoke about things that I needed to hear and understand. It recommended other books by different authors. I'm now 5 chapters in and have received such moving words. What I realized was that 'this' book was the right one for me. God knew that, but weeks ago I did not. I began to focus on my thoughts, my minds weakness and its strengths. I realized that I was not ready for the many books that I have passed along for others. Nor am I now or ever ready to walk their journey. I can't keep up with them because I haven't accepted myself. All of the self help books that I read simply because she did, he did or they did were not helping me. I now know what I need. My mind is rather amazing because it does things like goes from up to down in a matter of seconds. It feeds off its surroundings and sometimes that's dangerous. It needs discipline, strength and guidance.

Today I read an article "Self-help doesn't work without Self Acceptance" and it shocked me. It talked about all of the things you can do to help yourself but none of it will work if you don't accept yourself. Who can you help if you don't know who you are helping? What an amazing past few weeks I have had and what a beautiful journey it brought me to today. Well, let me go and take up my next journey, who knows where it will take me. But at least I am ready to know 'who' is on the journey.... I am :)

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Coexist

I was reading today as I enjoyed the sound of rain on my window. I began to think how earlier today I spoke with someone who said it was snowing where she lives. I thought about all of the good and bad weather that is going on throughout the world. And I questioned, what is the balance for the weather? What makes snow bad, tornado's bad, rain bad, or sun bad? They all coexist, reality is neither are bad or good. What if it were raining everywhere in the world right now, where would the balance of water stream through? Just as the weather coexist, so should we from within. The good or bad feeling is neither if we allow them to exist together. You would never know the difference in either if they did not reside within the same place, yet under different direction.

Do not deny, ignore or hide something that exist. doing that will cause an off balance of what is trying to be fulfilled. In order to coexist, both must exist at its intended moment.

(C) 2011 Ebony Larijani

My Season Is Now

"Out the window I can feel the brick cold
the brick I used to bury all of what is old
Weeds do grow and find there way out
fearful of what tips they spring about
The moon shines different in 50 degrees
and the trees sway softer with cool breeze
My season is now and it gets chilly at times
my scarfs change colors, like my mind"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 30

We made it, day 30. Did you read over the verses? Did they speak to you? A lot of instructions, yes? Did you worry you weren't living right? Did you feel amazed by how great you are doing? Did anything relate to things now? Did you script about anything? Were you amazed how life is broken down for you, no matter what situation you are in. Family, Marriage, Finance, Health, Beauty, every thing had title and instruction.

Proverbs 31 Woman, I pray you rest in your awareness of whom you are. I pray you can lay with yourself and rest in the feeling of Gods arms. I pray you succeed in finding your truth each time you lie in fear.

Proverbs 31 Woman are you still in the off balance of life? Are you harmless in the harmful fire of life's weapon? Can you cry when you need to hold everything together? Can you walk away when you feel the need to stay? Can you laugh in the face of silent fear? Can you feed the homeless child that doesn't belong to you? Can you forgive the pain that cut and left you to bleed? Can you pick flowers in the rain and still be in awe? Can you smile at the success of your worst enemy? Will you speak truth even when the truth will tempt your pride? Are you eager to find yourself every day over and over again in complete loss after each daily finding? Are you able to love what you hate? Are you able to look straight at what you love? Are you prepared to prepare meals for nourishment? Can you give up what we shall not want/have?

Some of the things I thought about while reading the different verses.

"I am a woman
created and mastered
without the mass of destruction
I think I may be found
without the finding of being loss
I think at times I know home
no earth know spiritual
pleasing to thy self
honest in all
confident in the walk
constructed, not constricted
armed, loved, woven in wool
warmth, cool and just to the soul
dependent on
dependent of
giving, nurturer
blessed
unleashed of future hold
current in moments time
does time exist
past all the passive
daughter of The Father
smile of the wind
mirror of reflection
whole in vision"


(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Breast Cancer Month

Today Vivid Mirror delivered a basket to a woman who survived breast cancer. Donations were made from several different woman in making this basket whole, thank you...

"Survivor of the feared cut
Deep embedded
Cut out, left with wound
Removed from the body with no touch of love
Left different, in whole to survive
Knowledge of pain
Needles pricked
Cords pulled
Hair of colors, curls or straight
Bald with beauty
Sick in body
No natural state until weak is strength"

Putting together the gift basket

 

 

                                                                Delivering the gift basket

 

 

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Collecting Blankets For The Homeless

Vivid Mirror is collecting new/used blankets for the homeless. Please contact me if you are interested in donating blankets. Blankets are needed by October 30th.

vividmirror@yahoo.com

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 27

What you read below I found on the website. I ask that over the next few days you read over the list and read each bible verse. There are many verses and not all of them are in Proverbs. I want us Women to see, God gave us instruction throughout the entire bible. I will meet with you again on Sunday, October 14th which will be Day 30 and we will reflect on the bible verses read.

We want to encourage women to serve God in every aspect of their lives.

1. Faith - A Virtuous Woman serves God with all of her heart, mind, and soul. She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways. (Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 31: 29 – 31, Matthew 22: 37, John 14: 15, Psalm 119: 15

2. Marriage – A Virtuous Woman respects her husband. She does him good all the days of her life. She is trustworthy and a helpmeet. (Proverbs 31: 11- 12, Proverbs 31: 23, Proverbs 31: 28, 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Genesis2: 18)

3. Mothering - A Virtuous Woman teaches her children the ways of her Father in heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go. (Proverbs 31: 28, Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 22: 6, Deuteronomy 6, Luke 18: 16)

4. Health – A Virtuous Woman cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family. (Proverbs 31: 14 – 15, Proverbs 31: 17, 1 Corinthians 6: 19, Genesis 1: 29, Daniel 1, Leviticus 11)

5. Service - A Virtuous Woman serves her husband, her family, her friends, and her neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable. (Proverbs 31: 12, Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20, 1 Corinthians 13: 13)

6. Finances - A Virtuous Woman seeks her husband’s approval before making purchases and spends money wisely. She is careful to purchase quality items which her family needs. (Proverbs 31: 14, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 18, 1 Timothy 6: 10, Ephesians 5: 23, Deuteronomy 14: 22, Numbers 18: 26)

7. Industry – A Virtuous Woman works willingly with her hands. She sings praises to God and does not grumble while completing her tasks. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 24, Proverbs 31: 31, Philippians 2: 14)

8. Homemaking – A Virtuous Woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20 – 22, Proverbs 31: 27, Titus 2: 5, 1 Peter 4: 9, Hebrews 13: 2)

9. Time - A Virtuous Woman uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 19, Proverbs 31: 27, Ecclesiastes 3, Proverbs 16: 9, Philippians 4:8 )

10. Beauty – A Virtuous Woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ. She uses her creativity and sense of style to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones. (Proverbs 31: 10Proverbs 31: 21 – 22, Proverbs 31: 24 -25, Isaiah 61: 10, 1 Timothy 2: 9, 1 Peter 3: 1 – 6)

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 26

The other day I thought to myself, "I do this, that, and this, but who does this and that for me". After I put the kids to bed and say sweet loving words to my husband so he can sleep good, whom is left to care for me? I think I needed to go back and re-read who takes care of the Proverbs 31 Woman. Because all I could remember was everything that she did for others. I had a heavy feeling that everyone had forgotten about me, was I being selfish or truly weak and searching for strength. It says; we can't do for others what we don't do for ourselves. God did not give us power to do for others to the point where we become weak and fragile, then die off. He prepared us to be able to provide for others over and over again and come to Him for rest so He may renew us to provide again. How lucky we truly are to have this much power and strength. Did you know the praying wife has power over her husband. Don't take the word power the wrong way thinking the wife is demanding. No, her power is why she is able to change him. What he can become and overcome by his wife's prayer and loyalty to him is a miracle. You do believe in miracles don't you Ms. Proverbs. If you begin to feel like you are becoming weak and unable to provide for yourself, remember God gave you power! Discern when you should rest in Him or walk powerful for Him. (C) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 25

What makes you happy? Well, $28.00 later at the dollar store sure did it for me. I was buying things for other people and thought, "Am I spending to much"? Then I remembered I'm a Proverbs 31 Woman and so as I bought for others I asked God to fulfill. I knew $28.00 would not affect me, but it was that human greed that I didn't want to spend it. Yet as I praised God for making me willing and able, I asked that He fulfill where I give and instantly I became joyful. I was worry free as I shopped. Even though it was a small $28.00, it's purpose is life changing to someone else. Did you give today? If not I challenge you to give tomorrow, it doesn't always have to be financially. Remember you are Proverbs 31, so you are a provider, a nurturer, a strong powerful woman. If you don't know what you can give, then also remember you are a seeker, so ask God to guide you. (C) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 24

Well, how do yoy feel? Day 24, do you feel perfet? I hope not. Challenged, I pray so. Raise her in Gods literuature She will read the pages of His word She will birth children She will love She will cry Hold her Dont crowd her Or try to destroy her Breath will be of her Life will caress her Like morning breeze (C) 2011 Ebony Larijani

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Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 23

I apologize for skipping a day yesterday; however I knew I wanted to script about the event I went to last night. The Walk This Way Fashion Show in honor of beckysfund.org

Today's blog will be a moment of silence for the women that strive hard to be Proverbs 31 and are beat down in the midst of doing so.

Your scars are beautiful in my eyes
In the hit of battered you may be too bruised to realize
I will uplift you and I will love you
In the hit of battered you may think you are not worthy
I will not judge you or point my finger
For in the hit of battered I once laid where you stay

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 22

In Honduras they believe that the best coffee is shade-grown coffee, for it is less bitter. Yes, I am about to relate our Proverbs 31 Woman to coffee, especially since we have read how positively withdrawn and shaded she remained. There is a difference between hiding and being shaded. Communication is very important in all areas of life. If we are hiding what can we communicate? We speak to people we love and we speak to people we at times do not like. What we ignore or hide from only produces more damage and therefore pushes us deeper into a hole becoming more hidden. Who will dig you out once you fall too deep?

Be like coffee if you must, shade-grown coffee that is and you will be like Proverbs 31. Grow in the shade unconcerned with what others think, but respectful to yourself and them. Communicate your feelings whether they be up or down, but be respectful in doing so. Do not hide in the dark of guilt, hate, envy, jealousy, resentment or fear. The devil roams in those places and your mind becomes drawn to his attention.

What a delightful breeze we get in the shade. What a soft touch of falling leaves we can giggle at. What beautiful sight we can gaze upon. What a restful place we can remain strong and grow confident in our spiritual walk.

Sip your shade-grown coffee ladies and be as heavenly soft as Proverbs 31.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 21

Do you feel any different? Did you practice anything from the verses? I am still reading over the entire chapter to continue to feel what I want to be. We are what we think, and we also become more like what we take in daily.

I have noticed a change in things I do lately and I seem to smile when I realize the different me. Because I know it's the verses on my conscious and subconscious that has me doing more. I no longer feel tired and wore out after work, nor do I worry about the time that I have to get home, make dinner, workout, do homework, spend quality time and then get everyone in the bed. God controls my clock, so as long as I'm doing what He wants me to do He will make sure I have time to do it. The other morning I woke up late and felt rushed, I had to catch myself and remind myself to slow down and not worry about waking up late but be thankful that I even woke up. I could have questioned God why I overslept, what good does that do? He controls all, and the more I look to Him and strive to rely on Him I have abundant peace.

Read the verses again and again. Post them on your bathroom mirror. I read an article that years ago women were read this verse everyday and so it was easy for them to want and become this woman.

Often times I say to my daughter, I don't want you to please anyone, I want you to follow your heart and be happy with who you are. When she gets in trouble I remind her that I want her to have joy in knowing she made good decisions. I don't want her to follow the crowd or desire to be like anyone other then herself. It is so hard to make Proverbs 31 Women these days because the only place we can find examples of how we should live are in the bibles that aren't allowed in the schools or fear setting on the work desk.

We have to stand out, because noble women are noticed.

 

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani 

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 20

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gates. The time always comes! She earned it, her reward, her time of rest, her time to be blessed for all she had done. Was she concerned about who was watching, most likely she wasn't. She knew where her reward was coming from, and that alone was a delight in thought. It wouldn't be a day late or a day too soon. When the reward comes from God it is perfect in its timing.

Do you see what God is saying in the second verse? He makes sure that those who follow Him obtain praise at the city gates. What are the city gates? God is referring to his guidance she has left behind. What are we doing at this moment, we are following her right. Eager to become more like her, because we know of her works. Isn't it amazing how God kept her unconcerned about others opinions and thoughts during her journey. Yet when she had accomplished what God asked of her, He made sure she was acknowledged and known about. It's as if He protected her from being the gossip girl; however now he delights in what is said about her.

Ladies are you worried about what your neighbor is thinking? Concerned about what your friends are saying? If you are that is okay, just understand that is a human feeling; understandable even if it is damaging to us. I challenge you as well as my imperfect self, to understand and know the difference between our human nature and our natural state.

As we come to the end of Proverbs 31 I feel the need to say "Women, kick back, run in your heels and walk in your sneakers, laugh, cry, smile, whisper in the ear of your spouse with a soft kiss, rub nose's with your children as you giggle. Dance in the streets on a rainy night, cook, clean, meditate on your bible, and tell God all of your secrets. Experience all that we are made to be and most importantly just be.

We still have 11 days left during this 31 Day Journey so just because the chapter has ended the journey has not, keep following and keep opening petals.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Let it out

Off balance in doubt
Unknowing of what it's all about
Unclear unsure
In a midst of decision's on shore
Fluttered in
Shattered out
Back and forth on trust and doubt
Digging in dirt
Butterflies never hurt
Caterpillar crawled
Cocooned and flawed
Beauty on the tip of its wing
Spread wide in the wind of sing

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 19

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Charm is misleading, isn't that the truth. Many will mislead you with a charming personality. Beauty only lasts for a short time, that too holds truth. But the woman who fears the Lord is praised.

We all have done it or still do it. And since I'm not here to judge whether you do or not, you don't have to admit anything to me. I'm here just to cause us all to think. Have you ever led someone on by being charming? Has someone ever fooled you with their charming ways? How do you feel after, no matter what side of the charm you were on. Did you feel fooled or maybe even bad. It was a moment of fake, to obtain something you wanted. Have you ever used your beauty to get something? Has someone ever approached you based off your beauty alone? Neither lasted long did it?

To fear The Lord does not mean we are running and hiding from Him. It means we know His power, we live to please Him, we rely on Him and we let nothing disturb that. In return He praises us, He adores us and we remain in His favor.

 

Ladies be praised, but do not be charming or beautiful.

 

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Join the "Letters to the Soul" writing group

Every week write a letter to yourself, releasing anything that you chose. Email your letter (without your name on it) to vividmirror@yahoo.com and you letter will go to another person eager to soulfully experience your world. Whether relating with you or advising you. The following week your response letter will come back to you (without a name) and you will get to read a response from the words you released. It's beautiful to know that we are not alone in this world with whatever we face joyfully or painfully. This group has been exchanging letters for months now and each week is a success. Remember you do not have to put your name on any of  your letters! Neither do you have to write every week. If you would like to write, letters are due every Fri-Sat and your letter is returned to you no later then Tues.
If you do not submit a letter you will not receive someone else's to reply to, only those that submit letters get the gift of being able to write back to another soul as well. I hope you script and release...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 18

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. I had to meditate and ask God to clear my mind after reading this verse. Did it mean I am better then the next woman, was it a competition statement? Then God said to me, "I am speaking to all women who read my word, so yes, you are more spiritual then the woman who does not read and understand my word".

These spoken words from God reminded me of why I am currently writing my second poetry book and basing it off of the definition of words. Words are so easily misused. How would you feel if a woman told you "I'm better then you"? Ladies, lets be honest now when I ask you this, lol. Now answer how would you feel if a woman sat you down and explained to you, reading your bible daily and meditating on Gods word will help you in life. Things will start to change in your life that you would never believe, God will do the supernatural and miracles won't fear you because you know they are possible and they happen daily. Meditating under the moon, giggling at the fluttering leaves, raising your children off prayer alone, guiding your husband by speaking to God. Rising in the morning with a smile on your face excited about what is in store for your day, because you and God already planned it.

Now I repeat the verse again, many women do noble things. We all can rise, fall, fight, laugh, cry, grow, shrink, etc. We do noble things, we feed our children, we work two jobs, we clean, cook, lift up our friends and watch our enemies fall. BUT YOU, surpass them all. The Godly woman only knows to live for God, so she rises, but does not fall, she may drift but never fall because God holds her. She doesn't fight, God fights for her, she laughs, she cries to God, she grows, God allows no shrinkage. She cooks, cleans, praises and witness's to her friends, she prays for her enemies and even helps them rise. God is saying "YOU whom follows me, surpasses them all.

We will never be perfect, we shouldn't try to be. But we should always be walking in our natural state which is love to all for all. Nothing exists without love, nothing is successful without love, nothing is forgiven without love, nothing can be found, without love.

Be noble women and surpass them all...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 17

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her. Lets be honest here. Don't we love it when someone acknowledges all that we do. It is a feeling of appreciation and love. Her children clearly see what she does for them and they know its a blessing. I would also like to point out that she must have raised these children with respect. Not many children are mature enough to realize what mothers/women do for them. So to have your children realize your worth is amazing.

Her husband knows that without her he would lake spiritual things in his life that keep him balanced and whole. Have you heard the saying "Behind every good man is a strong woman". We were born to nurture and care for. We seem to have taken these words and transferred them into societies standards which are "Girl, don't do for him, he better do for you". Yet we were created to love, honor and obey. The husband of the blessed woman knows his strength and love come from her continued prayer over him. He knows her hands help keep his life in order. I can picture him praising her with faithful words on his tongue because that is how she herself speaks to him.
What a beautiful family, praising each other and understanding why a woman of God is power to her family.
Children/Men, I hope you're reading this and I pray that you tell your mother/wife how much of a blessing she is. Lift her up and praise her.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 16

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. I was discussing this with a friend of mine and we acknowledged how the immature may view this verse as "she keeps a tight grip on her husband so that he does not cheat and if he does she's not tripping". Doesn't that sound like the majority of women these days? But no, this is not speaking of affairs as in to cheat. The affairs of her household means she is praying that her husband rises in the morning with strength and works diligently when he goes out, comes home to a meal prepared by her eager hands, fellowships within their home that she sees to it remains clean, and lays with him at night giving faithful words (communication) from her tongue. She is praying that her children do well in school, she helps them study, monitors who their friends are and keeps them involved in activities to help them grow. She knows when it is okay to open the windows and let cool air in or when she should have on the heat. She knows how the clothes should be washed, who needs a favorite shirt or work pants ironed. She knows what time to send her children to bed on a school night and what fun they can have on the weekends. These are just a few affairs of her household, the daily things she must watch and pray over.

Keeping her eyes on God and the affairs of her home she has no time to become idle. Let me remind you that the devil is like a lion when he smells an idle mind. He can take over it and devour all that it was destined to be. Do not forget, you become as you think. I am living proof of that. I clearly remember the days I use to walk, talk and think in an idle state. Day in and day out being devoured by the devil within my mind. He filled it with some crazy thoughts and I lay many nights crying for him to release me and God to take over. It didn't happen over night, it was a long journey. Even now at times I drift into an idle moment, because sure we all have those moments. But the key to everlasting joy is to have control over your mind. So when it drifts I now find myself gaining control and focusing on things like the trees, the moon, the sound of silence. See I don't want you to get confused and think in order to not become idle you must stay busy. No, that is not the answer. In order to not fall into the pit of idle you must learn how to find your inner self and hear it when alone. Know how to balance life, whether it be a single life or married life; with or without children.

Watch and pray over your household affairs and don't feast on things that are not of God!

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

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Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 15

She speaks with wisom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. To be a woman with wisdom says alot. I beleive wisdom is gained with age, not indicating young woman are dumb. But age defines experience. You can not expect a young woman to know the pain of child bearing, the joy of raising a child, the pain of heartbreak, the joy of marriage. The confusion of life and the clear view of the journey. So with that said, this is why the older the woman the more wisdom she is expected to have. What she has been through in life was a test and if she knew what to do with each test then she earned her blessings and became full of wisdom.

Faithful instruction on her tongue. To give instruction means to tell what to do. I don't think this woman went around telling people what to do. I am sure that she instructed them to follow Jesus. And I am sure she instructed them by sharing her journey with him, her testimony. She was faithful in her speech, faithful to her Heavenly Father, faithful to her husband, faithful to her children. The words she spoke were not words of hate. She knew what came out of her mouth and off her tongue could be damaging or uplifting. Faithfully she made she her instruction to all was of faithfulness.

I believe you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she carries herself and also by her speech. Have you ever met a woman who spoke very demanding and hard core, cursing every other word? I don't find that attractive, nor do I find if faithful instruction. Surround yourself with women who enjoy being full of wisdom and take pride in the faithfulness her tongue can give.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 14

She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. Do you think she ever stopped using her hands? As I read through these verses I just imagine how her husband and her children looked at her. I imagine how at peace she is with herself, undisturbed by society, her friends, her enemies, her neighbors. Everything she does is for show, not to the world but for God. It's like telling Him thank you for the way He blessed her with husband, children and a working body. I still picture her so beautiful, not just because of her outer looks, but because of what she has within that she gives out.

I often wonder if women understand who we are and what God created us to be. Where are the women who find favor in submitting, honoring, obeying, giving. I wonder if we realize that the moment we truly understand and become, joy and blessings manifest.

If you are a woman struggling with pain, parenting, being a wife, being a friend, etc. Then I am here to tell you, your journey is still in season. Never will we be perfect, but joy will come once we let go of trying to please the world and only please God by being whom He created us to be.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 13

Her husband is respected at the city gates, where he takes his seat amongst the elders. Do make a point to approve or disapprove who you let inside your home, car, heart, mind? To be respected at the city gates means he had to prove himself in order to gain entrance into the gates. Sure we all are human and make mistakes, but I think in this time and age men have truly become worthless! I don't mean that in a harsh way. I mean us as a society continue to put men down instead of lift them up. On the flip side if us women respected ourselves more, then the worthless men would have no choice but to change themselves in order to be able to get a woman. Right now we are not being women and they are not being men. It seems to be a world full of boys and girls.

I use the word worth-less to say you are allowing yourselves to be worth less then what you were created and are capable of being. I speak into existence now that I will be the first to say gentlemen I will not receive anything less then what I was created to receive. I am allowed to say that even as a married woman because those women and girls that surround me will be influenced by me, and we have to start somewhere.

He sits amongst the elders. In the bible it talks a lot about having elders pray over you and gaining wisdom from them. So not only did he enter, but he knew where to sit.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 12

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. How many of you make your bed in the morning when you get up? If you do not, you should try it. If you do, I'm sure you have noticed the peaceful feeling that it brings knowing you are not rushed in the morning. You have the time to give to your place of rest. And as you come home I know there is delight in the attention that it feeds you as you walk in your room and see a made up bed. She makes coverings for her bed, I can imagine her making sheets and pillow cases or little pillows for her children or her and her husbands bed.

Clothed in fine linen. Nothing about this sentence tells me that she has high taste for expensive things. I get a sense of humbleness in this sentence, peace in her fine linen. She has no labels on her clothing and therefore no one can label her, most importantly she doesn't label herself. She knows the clothing she wears are of linen to cover her body so she may be respected.

I find this interesting, the color purple. I researched what this color means. Purple is the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking spiritual fulfillment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. Purple is a good color to use in meditation. What a beautiful woman, dressed without labels so she is not judged, covered in cloth so she is fulfilled spiritually and not revealing the body God gave her. At peace with herself and in her mind. I picture her humming in the morning, meditating on how she will spend her day.

Rise up beautiful woman, cover your bed in the morning and cover your body.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Lilly On The Edge

She was like a Lilly on the edge of water, ready to set sea, release and set free... She sat for a while admiring all the joy that everything else had amongst the currents, and it wasn't until she cared no more about how to jump in, she let go and fell in, submerged down under she looked up and life's view forever changed.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Dream

This hasn't happened to me since I was a little kid, a nightmare.  One that wakes you up in the middle of the night clinched to your pillow and fearful that it might be real. Until you open your eyes and realize it was just a dream. Then what do you do? Lay in your bed fearful of all the things you visioned in this dream, wondering what part will happen and which won't.

My nightmare scared me as my eyes first opened, unconscious and in a fearful state. Of course not my natural state. I closed my eyes again before I replayed the dream. I said a few words. "Jesus tell me what you want me to see". See I believe had I not set myself up to receive the good out of this dream I would have feared it. There is good in everything it just takes a concious mind to know and see that. As I asked Jesus to guide me back through my dream I noticed all of the scary parts about it were in the back of my mind yet overlooked. I was now going through the truth. The details that God wanted me to see. I noticed landmarks and timing and positions of people and words that were not said in the dream that I could say now. I continued to tell Jesus how much I loved him and I hummed joyful melodies and I prayed for forgiveness in areas I had never. Right before I opened my eyes I remembered one thing. The overflow of blessings has been deeply flowing into my life lately and I know the devil is mad! It was almost as if even he realizes my power and thought that he would take over my mind as if I was a little girl waking up to a bad dream. For years he had me awake living up to his weakned ungodly standards. He has lost me and I guess just like anyone when the loose something, they search for it in areas they use to be.

It is amazing how eager the devil is to devour anyone in anyway, but as we continue to weed him out and seek God, quickly and surely we step on his head!

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 11

When it snows she has no fear for her household for all of them are clothed in scarlet. The seasons change, that we know. God does not surprise us by jumping from 90 degree weather to ice and snow. He gives us notice, he slows cools and slowly heats. Giving us time to have our family prepared. We are to spring clean and winter prepare.

The season is changing now, have you place the summer items in containers and put them up for next year? I pray you are pulling down the jackets and long sleeves. Are you planning in shopping for everything new? I hope not, remember how humble we ought to be. Sure there are items in the stores that we desire to have, but let's go through our own stuff prior to shopping because what no longer fits can go to the poor and needy.

This is how we care for others as we care for ourselves.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 10

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. What is poor and who is needy? I think everyone at one point has been needy, because we all have needs. I don't think she put levels on who she would help and who she would not. Is your neighbor without something that you have? Is your friend in need? Are there poor families whom you can help. Sometimes people need things that do not cost you anything. Is there an elderly woman who needs things fixed around her home. A disable man who needs his grass cut.

When you choose where and what you give realize that there is always something and somewhere to give.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

The Gift

If you are strong enough to be weak enough, you are given a wound that never heals. It is the gift that keeps the heart open. ~Oriah

 If you have ever been so strong that your friend stabbed you in the back and you had to be weak enough to feel the knife. If you have ever been so strong to listen to the truth that he/she cheated, yet weak enough to shed the tears. If you have ever been so strong to raise children and yet weak enough to endure child birth. If you have ever been so strong to keep the molesting secret yet weak enough to feel their hand. If you have ever been so strong to imprison the rappest yet weak enough to loose voice as you yell no. If you have ever been so strong to admit the truth yet weak enough to have told the lie. If you have ever been so strong to drive home drunk yet weak enough to fill on something so dangerous. If you have ever been so strong to walk with a disability yet weak enough to cry out why me.

If you have ever been weak I pray you realize your gift, it is not the degree of your strength! It is the gift from the experience, the loss the gain, the endured pain. Seek your gift because we all know how to show strength, to show gifts, that puts you on another level. A spiritual level!

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 9

In her hands she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She is the distaff side and he is the spear side. Years ago a woman was spoken highly of if she had her distaff and her spindle. That was said to be her means of making things for her household. The man was the spear side, to be outside providing for his family.

As we see now times have changed, not many women stay within the home. Yet are we stronger one might say, because not only are we doing the spear side, we are the distaff side as well. I think we need to stop and think for a moment though what are we doing to our family? Is it damaging to play both sides? Being distaff does not mean that you are less then the spear. God has placed you where he knows you fit best.

Can you hold your place with distaff, are you powerful enough to know everything you wish to grasp is at your finger tips!

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 8

She sees her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night. Independent women stand up! I think this woman is teaching us that independence does not mean we are walking around singing we don't need a man, but we should say we have a family and still we know how to invest and build what will not run out. As she sleeps she rest assured that her 'lamp', her finances will not run out.

Most people lay in their beds at night wondering how they will pay their bills tomorrow, feed their children, gas up their car. Turn your worried mind off and know your wealth lamp does not go out.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 7

She sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for her tasks. Mental strength and body strength. Have you heard the saying "mothers instinct"? This verse describes to me what a mother/woman is capable of, yet first she must be mentally strong in order for her body to be strong.

I have read about how Olympic runners often use visual affirmations before the day of their race. They play out the entire race visually in their mind and the excitement and joy they feel to mindfully win the race fills their body with indescribable strength on the day of the race.

For this woman to set about her work, she is mentally setting her mind to achieve victorious things. With that mindset her arms/body is filled with the strength that she needs daily.

Are you eating healthy, taking your vitamins, working out, and most importantly are you mentally set?

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 6

She considers a field and buys it, with the fruit of her hands she plants a vine yard. I love the way she considers what she invests in. Surely as a woman she has jumped into things in the past and the results were probably painful. She learned the lesson, to consider now means to ask God. Patience must be of ease to know that He will provide answers in due season.

Fruitful hands, that is powerful. Not many know what they are capable of bearing. Yet she knows, she knows her hands bear fruit to many and so she most likely makes sure she keeps them clean. You would not find her hands handling unworthy things.

She plants! Times have changed because I can count the number of gardens I see daily. We no longer grow our own fruit. We place trust in Grocery Stores, not knowing that what they most often spray veggies worth would shock you. When I first started my garden I was eager to see my veggies grow. But the most important part of my gardening was tearing up roots and seeing how powerful they are. I wrote my garden a note right after we planted seeds because I believe in the law of attraction. I wanted health to grow and health to nourish bodies. I feel great when I can tell my children to go out back and bring me a tomato or any other herbs/veggies we have.

Proverbs 31 is so uplifting, even the she seems to always be planting. What are you planting? Consider it, be fruitful in grasping it and water your vines.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs31 Woman, Day 5

She rises while it is still dark, prepares food for her family and portions for her servant girls. When does she rest is what I think as I get to each verse. This morning though I was reminded, I don't need to ask about how she was capable of all of these things, for it is not her, but God in her. So what can't she do!

I believe the morning was her quiet time, her time to pray, prepare and renew. I vision her singing soft praises to God, humming with a smile. I'm sure she peaked in on her children and smiled at them as they slept. I vision her touching her husbands hand while he slept and feeling the strength they have together.

I can smell the breakfast cooking before they rise. I imagine dinner being prepared for the night to come. Her giving nature allows her to taken portions from her family to give to others. I think this is beautiful that she has confidence in knowing God will provide enough for her family so she may give to others. How amazing her family must feel to know how blessed she is and faithful she is to God.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 4

She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. When I think of a Merchant Ship I vision something big, strong, powerful. It is built to withstand something so calm or damaging and that is water. It is made to float and not sink. It serves as a purpose to many and if operated by to many it can crash/sink. Here she is again this woman of unimaginable strength and now we compare her to a ship.

I have to think though if I were going out to bring back food for my family I would go through the ruff waters if need be to find them fresh food. I would travel afar to bring them herbs from countries un thought of. I want their body's healthy and so I'm not just placing anything on their plates. I am the ship smashing through ruff waters or gliding on the surface, going afar to bring back health.

What are you feeding your family? Are they eating sugar filled cereal in the morning? Are they getting their daily dose of vitamins?

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 3

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. This woman literally clothed her family with wool, flax and eager hands. How beautiful to look at your family and see them clothed in your works. They did not rush to stores to stand in lines and be the first to purchase an item that is highly priced and no doubt worn to increase self confidence. I am sure she was not eager to stitch jeans that hung off the butt of her sons, nor did she stitch garments that revealed her daughters precious body.

I remember when I felt like I had an addiction to VSPink cloths. I had every item in the stores yet I would still go back to the store looking for something new to buy and frustrated that I had it all. As I began to review myself I took some time away from the store and I ventured into thrift stores. I remember leaving out the thrift store spending the cost of one shirt from VS on 5 items. I took the rest of my money and donates it. Yes, I still like VS but I have cut back on the desire to have everything.

I encourage you to seek through your closets and your children's closets. How are you living? Are you living a flashy lifestyle making material things your center. Are you living in the lower class and can't afford to cloth your children? Either way I encourage you to pray for your flax and wool and be eager with your hands.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 2

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. I know this does not mean that she buys her husband everything so he is valuable. No, this value is speaking more deeply. This value is preciousness, this value is Proverbs 31 Woman. She is valuable to her husband so he lacks nothing that he needs in his wife. He has everything he needs through her should he lack something of his own.

To have confidence in someone else means you have confidence in yourself. Imagine how powerful they must be together. Two valuable persons with confidence that nothing shakes them, nothing makes them unbalanced. I imagine them looking each other in the eye and knowing their worth and their responsibility to each other.

Does the man in your life have this trait in him when he approaches you, does he value you? Is he confident with himself so he may be confident in you? Are you giving this demand out through your own actions of what you deserve?

If I were to turn on the radio to today's top Rap songs I do not hear confident men rapping and I believe that is why their words are degrading woman.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Proverbs 31 Woman, Day 1

For the next 31 days I will read Proverbs 31 and allow it to transform my life as I read it each day. It is true that two people can look at the same thing yet see something different. As I do this over the next 31 days I will share what I see in the verses and what it means to me. If you would like to join me and share at anytime what your getting out of the reading feel free to share on here or you can email.

Day 1 - Wow! Are you serious, who can be like this woman? She sounds like she doesn't get any sleep and she works non stop for everyone else. I need rest after a long day of cleaning, but she sounds like she goes on forever. Am I inspired by her? Honestly, at times yes I am, other times I feel like I'm competing with someone who didnt have the demands that us women have today.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

I Am Like Water

It is the ocean waves that remind me of my strength
The cool shower that reminds me of my soft touch
I am powerful, I can take down walls, I can break through barriers
I can clean the body, nourish the soul
Children enjoy the fun they have with me
I produce growth to those around me
I hydrate
I appear clear and unseen
I splash with excitement or hidden shock
I stream into the deepest sea
And I continue to rise

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani