Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Does It Matter

We all hear people say, "she/he was raised that way". But what if they were raised that way, yet produce something so different on their own. I have been observing my children lately and how different they are. Like me my daughter has this dominate "I'm grown attitude" that I so clearly remember giving my mother in my teens. My older son has this laid back way about him that I carry now in my mature years. My youngest, well sometimes I wonder is he mine, lol.

I can look back over my childhood and I recall the distance between family members. I was not raised with hugs, kisses and spoken "I love you", but I was raised with a feeling of being loved. I see this branched down the family tree as I watch my older kids and how they act. We know love is within the home, but the hugs, kisses and spoken confirmation does not exist from them or to them. To be any different that would mean to recreate how I was taught with fear, because change does that, even to the sway of the family tree. As I observe my youngest he is full of love that he gives to all family that surrounds him. He is eager to hug and kiss. Is it his age I did think at first, but he makes it a point to let family know that he loves them. "Mommy I haven't seen you all day, I love you", "Brother I love you", "Sister where have you been I love you". It is the way he does not fear communicating his love that makes me proud and makes me think... Does It Matter, how he was raised because of how I was raised and spun down to my young.

Does It Matter?
Could he be the change that the family branches need, since they have always seemed to just produce leaves that silently flutter and tickle the knowledge that we all love each other... the firm stem may not sway with ease to the sound, but communication has begun and it has brought openness... little flowers blossoming and branches intertwined.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Monday, July 30, 2012

Time Does Not Exist

From the moment I rose today I had no concept of time, I could tell by the dim light through my window it was not time for me to get up. My TV was blasting though, I had fallin asleep with it on. I'm on an Olympics addiction. Anyhow after turning my TV off I played Joyce Meyer on my cell on YouTube. I remember looking at the length of the video but it rang no alarms to check the time. This is what I rushed through every morning trying to squeeze in my meditations or yoga. Not today though, today time did not exist. As I lay in my bed listening to Joyce Meyer I was delighted to begin refreshed. Once it ended I went about my usual, shower, getting dressed waking the kids. I think I glanced at the clock while I was ironing my clothes and I remember feeling comfortable in the moment. I did not think rush, rush. By the time I got in the car I felt like everything was running so smoothly and I had no idea how. Once I was on the road headed to work I relaxed through the constant traffic jam, I prayed for people that drove with such rage. As I got to my desk I spent all morning unaware of the time, my subconscious kept saying "look, look" but my concious knew what the need for time could do. It can make you feel like you don't have enough or there is to much. And most often you gear towards the one that doesn't work towards your favor.
I only knew it was lunch time because my coworker announced she was going to lunch. And I only knew it was my time to go because she arrived back.
I had the most peaceful day, things were getting done in a timely manner, I didn't focus on all the reasons I could think of as to why I didn't belong at the job. Nor did I focus on the amount of time I had left to be there. I even giggled at myself as I called a customer in CA, so sure he was on the same time zone, or at least it couldn't possibly be 8am as I listened to him whisper how I caught him sleeping.
What a wonderful, peaceful day I had! To leave time were it belongs, in non existence.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Decorate, Create and Manifest

I took a shoe box, decorated it, created something meaning and I'm patient in the manifest. The inside of the box is split into two with cardboard, there are two holes on either side of the box. Every day I place money in it. I'm not keeping track, but God is. Every time I roll up a bill and place it inside I keep my eyes closed so I don't know if its 1.00, 5.00, 10.00, 20.00, 50.00. I just know its going inside and as I place it in I ask God that he 3 fold and bless. What I am saving for I would like to keep private, but its something with a lot of meaning to me and my family.

Your probably thinking "what's wrong with a Savings Account". Well, I can't decorate it, I can't sit with it in my lap in prayer and it isn't placed in my daily view. And it is a fact, what you see you focus on.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Mercy and Truth

I have a lot of tattoos on my body, only one do I regret getting. The others sometimes I think back to the day I got them and what they meant to me. Sometimes I think has the meaning changed in any way, maturity of definition.

Proverbs 3:3-4 I have tatted on my left shoulder blade. When I got the tattoo it didn't define what it defines to me now. I don't know why I was brought back to this verse today; however the meaning I received today was inspiring.

The verse reads: Do not let mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

As I researched this verse today I came upon this (from the Online Parallel Bible):
 1. Mercy - shutting out all forms of selfishness and hate
 2. Truth - shutting out all deliberate falsehood, all hypocrisy, conscious or unconscious
The Eastern custom was to write sacred names on pieces of papyrus or parchment, and wearing them around the neck, as a charm and talismans against evil.

Binding them around your neck also meant keeping them in constant view. I am sure some of us have special necklaces that were given to us with meaning from someone special. Sometimes holding them while they are around our necks brings peace of a memory. Writing them on the heart is what moves you to feel them. If you have ever done a mediation that focused on feeling the love within your heart then this will make sense to you too.

I felt a sense of power as I studied this verse, then to know that it graces my shoulder blade made me feel encourage in my stance. I had to remember at all times to shut out selfishness and falsehood. I had words to guard me against all evil. I also knew what it meant when someone said "Lord have mercy on their soul", Lord shut out their selfishness and hate that they are showing.

Research is a beautiful thing, nothing should mean the same to you years later or nothing has grown within you.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Friday, July 27, 2012


Webster Dictionary:


The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
I have been doing a 30 day Gratitude challenge and day 2 has already brought me so much compassion, joy and peace. Often time when we are asked what are you thankful for, we begin to list things like my health, my family, my friends, my car, etc. But this gratitude challenge puts a fun twist in it and reminds us of the simple things to be thankful for.

So as I became aware that I'm so thankful for fluffy socks because of how they make me feel. I came across my favorite pair of socks that I have not seen in months (yes it was a natural high moment). As I thanked the Universe and God for other things it was fine to be able to show a lot of appreciation for the simple fun things in life. Nail polish colors, wet hair, warm water, favorite TV shows, etc.

As I lay my head to rest for the night we are instructed to vision all of the other millions of people who are doing this challenge and we are to say a few words of thankfulness and give prayers to them. It is not until I finished that I became aware of how many people are doing the same for me. Wow, what an amazing feeling in your heart to have a bond with strangers, uplifting gratitude and peace.

Look at the definition of gratitude to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I believe that as we show appreciation, the kindness is naturally returned to us.

If you have never done a 21 day meditation or a 30 day challenge of any sort I suggest you add it to your list of things to do. It is said that it takes 21 days to build a habit; choose your habits!

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Are you a friend Is your ear listen'n Are we pretendin Am I guilt rid'n Why aren't you sharin Do you think I will be comparin Who are you trustin Do you see you in me or somethin Or do you vision life without me better Cause I seem to be the one with all the chatter I'm convienced I fill the silence with laughter Your feelings do matter But you never share whats inside you or scattered I'm not one to pull out the needed matter So am I assumed to be a friend or not Dear God what's this that we got I want to give her advice on why's and why nots But her life is kept in knot Every now and then I get a peek of what she's got But so quickly she focuses back on me a lot How do I be a better friend Maybe I should just silence and accept the quietness of my friend (c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Are We What We Eat, Or What We Think

About a week ago I read in the bible that nothing from the outside can harm you, what we place in us goes into our stomachs and comes out, it does not go into our hearts.

Matthew 15:17 "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods "clean.")

I have been focused on this verse and trying to untangle where my mind seems to tangle around it. Because we can look at different areas of the world and compare what we eat and then compare the ratio of healthy people. Is it our minds that have made us think that eating McDonald's is so unhealthy? I mean we are told daily by news media and other sources about the sodium/calorie intake. Maybe Jesus wasn't saying we can eat anything and be healthy, but that all food is clean to put in our mouths because it will come out, what it might do during it's journey in there is another story. 

I will admit this; for the past week I have been eating out of my "healthy" norm. I have indulged in things that I cut out of my life months ago because I knew they were not good for me. And I wonder if my subconscious mind is allowing me to experience food that I have missed because of the verse that I had read. As I eat them now I don't have a thought of "oh that is going to make me sick". In all honesty I have no thoughts, I eat and I enjoy. I do not plan to continue in this way for a while, but I do feel blessed to have enjoyed the freedom to have ate as I choose.

This verse may be about food for me, or this verse may have been another awareness of the power of the mind.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Wrong to Right, or Right and Wrong

Where do we place the words that can't be seen because they are wrong, but can't be kept because they are wrong... And what if what is wrong now has the ability to become right later, do you keep doing wrong until right changes, or do you let go out of fear of the current wrong moment... Both are a risk...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Who Taught This World Of Students

When we were born we had no fear, we knew nothing about the difference between right and wrong. We didn't compete with anything, not even our self. The moment we held our own bottle we saw joy in our parents eyes, for us there wasn't anything to compare it to. Our parents rushed to the phone when we took our first steps, so proud of us everyone knew about it, yet all we knew was that we could get to that toy faster. Everything in life held the same joy, there was no "yesterday was better then today", there wasn't the worry of what tomorrow would bring. We were not dumb in any way, we were living how we were created.

Then one day we began to be told "don't touch that", "your going to get hurt", "why are you crying", "sit up straight", "you should do it like this", "look at how he/she did that", "I'm proud of you", "I'm embarrassed of you". What are we to think, that our parents damaged us? I'm sure they are the one's that taught us right from wrong, good from bad, happy and sad. But to blame a parent for doing their jobs seems... yes I'm about to put a label on it; it seems wrong. How do we teach the students of the world, who is considered the teacher and who are the students. We all were infants at some point and we all have taught someone as well. So we are each; the teacher and the student.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I'm Not At The Fair, I'm In The Gap

The most empty place to find everything is in the gap. If you have ever practiced meditation you know where the gap is. Convinced that I wasn't good enough to get there, I think it took me longer to get there. I would squeeze my eyes tight as if the pressure would squeeze me into this space, you know "the gap". I would repeat "enter the gap, enter the gap" only to find that I could not be guided by voice. It took a while to realize that the purpose of the gap is to find everything and be free of anything. So to enter into the gap you have to enter with silence and clarity. You can not bring all of your noise into a place so at peace, it literally will not allow you in. Leave your drama, pain, worry, anxiety , frustration all outside of you for just a few moments so you may be blessed with the experience.

I can't explain what happens within the gap because there are no words. There is plenty of space though, so get there! There is room for us all.

Leaving the gap is not done in sadness, it is in great joy simply because the experience was that favourable. Coming out is like riding the slide at the fair; long yellow and full of wind that it fills your breath. You rise at the end and have this giggle of freedom as you stand up and look to the top, as if to say "wow, thank you".

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Monday, July 16, 2012

No School, just life courses

For a few days now I have been doing a training of the mind. I have daily exercises to teach the mind to go back to it's natural state of not thinking. At first I felt extremely overwhelmed, but as I venture into day 5 I seem to understand.
I understand that most of what replays are things of the past, and what sits on pause are things of the future. And I wondered why I could never enjoy a moment within the moment; I was cluttered in replay or stuck still.

Spend a day or even an hour with a pad and pen in your pocket and every time you think something just write down main words of your thoughts. When you see how much writing you have done you will realize how uncontrolled your mind is. Because I remind you again, it's natural state is a thought of nothing.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Script Your Week

I recently started a writing group.
~ Check out the website for more information...www.vividmirror.com


I often wonder what exist within time. What is time? How long is time?

I have heard that time does not exist. If that is true then why are we always watching the clock, why are we so familiar with an 8hr workday. What is the purpose of our alarm clocks. Why do we rush home. How is it that we know the hours or minutes it takes to drive to a loved one.

Then I read "time is the length that it takes to heal, to forgive, to gain wisdom, to understand, to change, to grow, to fail and to succeed". And I understood it like this; we are forever healing, we are forever changing, forgiving, growing, succeeding and gaining. So it doesn't exist in a sense of clock ticks. It is eternal, forever incomplete of reaching that point.

In the bible it states that we can not comprehend time, it would phantom our minds. This is why God gave us the understanding of a 24hr day, with the sunrise and sunset so we may rise and we may rest.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Friday, July 6, 2012

Do Not Dream Only In Sleep

I read an article that spoke about the power of visulization. To sit with your eyes closed and picture the achieving of a goal or situation in your life. From start to finish you play out the entire experience. Feel the joy, see the smile, know the purpose, love the accomplish.

You may visualize this through your own eyes watching yourself or you may want to visualize this through someone eles's eyes. It is suggested that if you feel as though someone does not approve of you then you could become that person and watch yourself acheive through their eyes so you may see the joy they have for you. This is not intended to be a "ha, ha, look at me" visual.

This can open door ways to heal, Ex relationships, Parent/Child relationships, Boss/Co-worker relationships, etc. Even more importantly while you are healing a relationship you are also acheiving your goal.

As you come out of your awake dream, you can write down all of the things that you felt, creating your own affirmations from the feelings.
I have not tried this yet because I just recently read the article, but I do plan on trying it. Let me know if you try it.....

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani