Saturday, June 30, 2012

Balance Your Baggage

As I was listening to Erykah Badu's "Bag Lady"
I thought about the amount of bags I take on Vivid Mirror getaways

On the last trip my friend was traveling with baggage on wheels, nothing new in this day and age. Me however; I was struggling with the tug of VS Pink bags, without wheels. If I can paint a vivid picture for you of the walk from the parking lot to the hotel it would be colors of pink, yellow, and purple crayons drastically out of the lines. The ride down the escalator was a stillness of disbelief, yet preparation in case everything went for a tumble. As we proceeded to the front desk I was asked a question that I have never been asked before at check-in, "what will you be doing tonight". With a proud smile I said "she is a photographer and I am going to finish writing my book". The hostess seemed to be put at ease with an understanding that possibly those are camera's, backdrops, film, pens, books and laptops within the bags that sat on the floor giving our arms a sigh of relief. Venturing up to the 7th floor I was reminded of a woman's strength and determination. As the elevator door closed I visioned the use of a cart that we could have used many times.

So I ask Badu, what if the bag we carry is good yet still heavy, are we going to miss the bus, are we going to loose out on something we needed to grab? Maybe the time line of our journey has filled us up with good baggage so that we don't grab anything else, and the strength that we build with the weight is preparing us for the road ahead.

On the morning of checkout as I packed my bags I noticed it was lighter in weight. With a confused look on my face I left the feeling alone. However my travel partner looked at me and said "is it lighter", "yes" I replied, "maybe you packed it differently". Only me, the poet would take those few words and allow it to educate me on life. As we got closer to the car I took a break and sat my bag down, it wasn't the weight this time, it was just a hand adjustment. It wasn't even suppose to be noticed, but it was and as my travel buddy turned to look she lost control of her rolling luggage and everything took a tumble. I giggled and said "see you were suppose to remain focused, but you looked back at me with the thought of my baggage being heavy and you fell off balance". As she giggled more items fell from her hands. And together we were full of laughter.

Who cares what is in the bag, balance is all that matters. Naturally good and bad are apart of life, so if we pack it correctly, then we can carry it correctly. Don't become so familiar with baggage being heavy that you still look back on it that way, when it's sedately moving along with you.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Streets Of The Homeless

Maybe it was the thought in my head, "I wish I hadn't ordered this, I don't really like the taste". Or could it have been the openness of change. Which ever it might have been I ordered the food in hopes that it would fulfill my desire of hunger. It did fill a desire, but the desire was not for me.

I ate at Busboys and Poets last night and I have to admit my choice of meal was not satisfying. I picked through it trying to convince myself that it was good. I remember a thought of comparison when I reminisced how I loved the 'other' place that I ordered shrimp and grits from. Oops... I had done it, damaged its purpose.

I contemplated on whether I should get a to go box or not. My inner self said you know you like late night snacks, and so I did, lol. As I was walking back to my hotel room I was stopped by a homeless man whom I had witnessed getting harassed by the police while waiting on my meal. I focused on the fact that we had already met simply by my stare of the police harassing him. So prior to his voice saying "excuse me, can you spare some food" I already knew him.

He was unaware that I had watched the police question him only an hour ago. I suspect that might cause some people to judge him, but I didn't want to carry that stumble of self growth. I mean the fact that he was sitting on the streets dirty with no place to go is a judgement in itself. But here I was handing him the food that I did not want, the food that I was prepared to force myself to eat as a late night snack. As I walked away from him blessed that I was able to be of service I thought about the homeless man that sat beside him. A white man who's face was so dirty he was brown, he was distant and alone even with someone sitting beside him.

As I continued my walk home I passed another homeless man who was on his bike yelling to people "go home". Go home, why was that his choice of words, maybe because we all had a place to call home, but he did not. I passed another homeless man who was in deep conversation with a person that was walking beside him that only he could see. And I thought to myself... "if the homeless person on the street had paper and pen, would he still appear crazy if he were writing to himself instead of talking to himself"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Write A Letter To Your Disease

Dear Depression:
I use to hate you so much. You made me hide at times when I just wanted to shine. You have created so many negative thoughts that at times I believe to be true. You hold a spot in alot of my loved ones lives and I hated you for choosing our family.
I have learned how to deal with you better, but today I choose to love you. I am sure that with all of your sadness and negativity you could use some love. Maybe that's all you have been looking for through the generations of my family; is for one of us to love you instead of hate you or medicate you. I will be the first to say, "I love you".... ~me

Dear Writer:
I don't know how to say "I love you" but I do thank you for loving me. I  don't want to battle with you everyday as if we are enemies. I know nothing about love, so thank you for choosing to teach me. Everyone else just hated me or medicated me, and that caused me to lash out even more... ~depression

What ever your disease, or should I say dis-ease in life is, I encourage you to write it a love letter everyday for a week. You will be surprised to see what can manifest from it.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Fathers Day

I remember when I use to wish all the single mothers a Happy Fathers Day, but with all due respect... Mothers are not Fathers. No matter if you are raising your children or not, I'm probably the first to tell you... Happy Fathers Day. I pray that with continued recognition of who you are, you will be. (c) Ebony Larijani

Friday, June 15, 2012

Unconditional Love

A caption from the book "A Return To Love" By: Marianne Williamson

When I read the above sentences in this book I not only gasp for air but I dialed every friend that I know. "Girl listen to this"! Who wouldn't say that though in this day in age; which gives reason why jealousy is so damaging and why unhealed people can't unconditionally love. We find pleasure in knowing the ex was hurt and left alone, dumb founded we wonder why the current relationship has so many trust issues. I ask though, would you trust someone that left an ex in pain? Honestly, would you? Because common sense should tell you what they are capable of. Yet on the flip side we fear two people who once had a relationship to mend and end on good terms. Fear it as if they are not capable of giving love unconditionally. So I ask you this, who are you with? Do you realize the damage of the unhealed, the pain of limited love?

Society says that boyfriend and girlfriend combine under one roof is okay. So the start of the relationship is already wrong. Society says that cheating is something that is acceptable because both do it. So the start of lust is already formed. Society says that divorce is easier and less embarrassing then working it out. So the start of separation is already done. Society says that baby momma and baby daddy is proper term. So the start of disrespect is already formed.

Do you realize how wrong, unacceptable, embarrassed and improper society would be if we healed before we engaged. Women can you say to your partner "I want you at peace with your ex, I want you to love your ex unconditionally", Men can you say to your partner "I want you to love your ex, with unconditional love and keep peace".

Ladies and Gentlemen it's time we tap society on the shoulder and inform them "He/She is not competition". We can not compete with anything that has been healed and left in the place earth says they ought to start fresh.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani


"It is what we battle with in order to stay in balance with the positive. If we could only remember that it is temporary. If we could only vision that it is not what we see. It subs in during the time of boredom and if it is not consciously adjusted it has reason to stay"

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Sunday, June 10, 2012

On The Road

Marks of life, whether it's sky scraped or hand written with paint of an artist that didn't make it to the museum, toppled over trees, tires blown from previous turns, sun sets to sun rise depending on the mile marker, Do Not Enter directed signs, No U Turns but I'm sure at some point we are going back, rest stops are our vehicles telling us something, license plates of boundaries or possible home town, RVs and Greyhounds destined to routes of passenger choice, speed increased and decreased all in the tap of a pedal. (c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Friday, June 8, 2012

You Can't Erase Under Water

There comes a point in a writers life when you fear a script. It's as if you have written your piece at the bottom of the sea and you fear to let it go, afraid you won't be able to swim to the top because eyes and mouths will be hovered overboard with looks and comments you can not bare. But if you don't swim to the top how will you get air. It's that catch 22, that damned if you do damned if you don't.
Then the realization sets in, that if you don't save yourself then your own audience will kill you. So if my script is being read by audience I've sunk ship, because I'm feeding off of your approval. If my script is being read by the spirit of a human, then I'm blessed and they know they have no power to anchor me down or fish pole me up. Free from bias in spiritual form, as we all sail the ocean; beautiful...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Sender and Receiver

Write a letter, even if you don't want to mail it, write it!

I was taught by a Counselor that writing is a form of healing. Speech is not always the best way to express yourself. This is where the writer and/or the introvert take front seat. I will be first to admit that I have always admired my gift of writing. Now my gift of being an introvert took me some time to enjoy.

"An introvert hears all, that the extrovert later will need to know"

An undelivered letter opens portals for the receiver and closes doors for the writer. You may be wondering how can someone know about an undelivered letter. Well they can, by the simple act of your release; God and Earth will do the rest.

Write your letter, even if you don't want to mail it, write it... to your mother, your father, your sibling, your friend, your job, your enemy, your ex, your spouse, yourself...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Forget about the lips, I have better places for it to stick

In the reflection of "what to do different today", I had an impulsive urge for lipstick. I've never been one to wear make-up so what was the purpose of this urge?

Often times we think something or feel something and go with the first felt thought. I have found that this is a true result of thought taking over meditation. Leaving us off balance and stuck with or in something that wasn't the underlining truth. So I searched (meditated) into this red color lipstick and visioned for a while to see where Maybelline really wanted to gloss me.

Having nothing to do with my face, yet I would see my face. This lipstick wanted to stick in places other then my skin. It wanted to continue to hold its purpose but in a different way, for it wouldn't need to touch me to beautify. It would over lay in a way that it hadn't before. Off I went to purchase lipstick and create what I was meant to see today.

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani