Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Ego

I read an article; several articles about the Ego, indeed it made my jaw drop. I remember how I use to sing Beyonce's song "I Got A Big Ego". I thought that song was empowering, representing how confident I am of myself. Let me tell you this... everything but confidence and love resides in that song. Journey through your ego, because you don't want it to be big, let alone be anything.

Realizing when the Ego began has me questioning my well being in the site of others.  For me it confirmed we come into this life alone, we die alone. And if we can't all understand what this life is truly about honesty I sometimes think we would be better off living through it alone too. 

At birth we are not aware of ourselves, we are aware of our parents; usually our mother to be exact. We are satisfied with the love we get from our parents by every giggle and cry we make. Fascinated with ourselves we start to realize what to do when we are hungry for attention and after we feed the attention, we are satisfied... well the ego is. At what point do you think we become aware of who we are if we are always in the midst of satisfying someone else and sadly know how to satisfy them?

As we age we start to see who likes our hair, who likes our shape, who likes our shoes, who likes the way we talk, walk, etc. We are so eager to please others to fulfill our ego which is constantly hungry to be fed. So again I ask, when do we know who we are because from birth we have pleased others.

The ego is an illusion and it is said that we must live through the illusion in order to find the real. The fear is falling into belief of the illusion, because it is easily seen and the real is unseen. It takes knowledge to realize that our true self is what we naturally carry within us. Knowing your lost in your ego is terrifying yet the opening of a healing, a self finding. Not knowing you are lost the ego controls your every move.

Often we sit and we wonder why are we so miserable? It is because the ego is fake, like plastic I read. It will never truly be happy because it is not real, yet we keep feeding it and wondering why we are so unhappy. We can not dismiss  the ego because it is here; however what we understand we can control. That is the key to joy, to understand and know who you are. Once you know who you are, what you are not will wither away, like a feather from a bird. The bird does not keep plucking feathers saying "I am not this, I am not this". The bird lives, glides, soars and knows what it is, and on it's own (like the ego) the feather just passes, falls high from the sky of the soaring bird. The bird I'm sure does not even see it's gone, but it is. Not only is the glide now differently felt it is also differently seen and has no want to conform to the site of another.

It is in the try over and over that you find the definition of "be". If you have found it you know it is so beautiful, because your true existence is beauty. The ego bares many lonely ugly things, yet still we feed something so ugly. To "be", nothing need be fed.

Journey through the fake, know who you are,
allow the ego to pass and by all means...
Just Be...

(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani

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