My conversation with a young black man was very intriguing this morning. It made my insides smile and then my lips couldn't help but to follow in the joyful curl. We spoke about careers and children. He began to tell me that he is a single father so he could not join the Air Force, but that didn't stop him. He said he is joining the Navy instead. However; currently he is on light duty at work because he hurt his ankle, as he goes in and out of doctor appointments he prays nothing is broken. I'm sure no one wants a broken bone, but in his situation a broken bone will keep him from being able to join the Navy. I had to ask his age because by looks I thought 25, but by his character I thought maybe 27. He then told me he just turned 30. My mouth dropped. "I know, I know" he said. Then we both just laughed.
I returned to my quiet self and just thought how proud I am of him. Why was I holding these thoughts in? I always do that, I always clam up. Not this time though! I began to tell him how he is changing the statistics and that I am proud of him and he has no idea how wonderful he is creating his daughters life. He just sat and listened to me taking it all in, his back began to straighten and his shoulders became broad. I knew he was feeling the joy inside as well. We spoke of family life, grandparents, brothers, sisters, parents. We spoke of heritage as his comes from the Islands and we found we have the family line of Jamaica in us both.
The more I spoke about how proud he made me the more I felt joy and the more he shared. It was like we both were sitting in this bubble of joy and no one was breaking it. What I haven't told you yet is 2 days prior I heard him on the phone with a friend and he was saying how his father has never been in his life and he will never forgive him or speak to him. I sat in silence thinking "this poor lost soul". I wasn't moved to say anything to him 2 days ago, I was just moved to pray for him. Now I sit in delight as God has shown me. He may not be on the journey yet of healing from his fathers pain. However he is on a journey of becoming a great father himself and that's what we reflected on.
We all go through journeys in life. If we don't focus on the ones that still need work, maybe they can heal on their own. I watched this young man have joy in his heart when he spoke about being a father and a single father at that. Subconcioucly he's hating the person that didn't feel the same towards him, but conciously he is loving and it shows in his daughters life.
So what you have some issues/hate/lack, or whatever else. Let's focus on what you have that's on a rise. I guarantee you one day both journeys will meet (the one on the rise and the one you still suffer in) and when they do you will define balance.
P.S. We have not stopped talking, we are now talking about our dreams and what we are taking baby steps towards becoming.
(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani
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