The awareness is to change your mind. And by change I mean everything. Retrain it against everything it was taught. For example I use to think that in church if you saw people jumping around it meant they were crazy. I remember as a kid going to some church's and sitting so stiff when I would see people do this. I now laugh at how untrue that is.
Months ago I went to a Praise Worship and these people were in there jumping around and falling on the floor. I closed my eyes and let go of what I was wrongly trained. I began to hear doors opening, large wood like doors that one would imagine on castles. The sound was so close and moving that it brought me to tears. I knew it was God speaking to me, letting me know He was about to manifest things in my life. I let go of stiffness and I started to praise and worship. I was mixed in with others who were doing the same thing and it was a great feeling. I had changed my mind of the old thoughts that this wasn't right. We are talking about God, why wouldn't we be crying, laughing and falling on our knees.
The other morning I read an article about miracles. Wow, talk about a moment of "change the mind" I use to think that miracles were things that did not happen, not here on earth anyhow and if they did we better run and fear cause something isn't right. I laugh at myself even when writing that, but that is the truth. Miracle is like a word of something out of the norm happening and that isn't correct. But I now know that if miracles are not happening then something is not right. How do you define a miracle? Do you believe in miracles? Did you know that you can create a miracle for others or yourself. Every time you choose love over any thing else you have manifested a miracle. Miracles are brought out of love and love overcomes, conquers, heals, withstands, etc ALL.
Do you see why we have been taught that love hurts, love is pain, etc. Because as humans it's hard for us to choose love when we are face to face with a stranger. We can't bring our selves to choose love with someone who has done us wrong. We can't love that person that took something from us. But I tell you the truth, love is love. And love is only painful because we have been trained that we are to turn our backs, close our doors and "don't ever forget what was done to you". I sometimes vision meeting God and saying to Him, you made it so easy for us and still we found ways to make it seem impossible. Even in writing this there are areas in my life that I know need to be filled with love and in my mind I'm thinking, "I can't, not now" Then in the next exhale I'm telling myself how simple it can be done if I would only retrain my mind. And still each day I struggle.
Sometimes when my mind takes over in its former trained thoughts I just allow it. You can find me some days walking around just angry. I know why I'm angry and I know how to let it go but I don't and so I say "forget this, I'm going to be angry cause what I'm believing right now is causing that and when I stop and retrain I will be ok". It's not worth fearing all these emotions anymore because I know what is true. So if I live in illusion at times, I just do. I know I'm coming back to miracles soon.
How do you do this, stand so tall and perfect before me, caught up in belief simply based off of what I've been told, you branch out in many ways, are you trying to keep me from finding truth, that you aren't..... well is it true, or not, are you really a tree or just a vision of my illusions...
(c) 2011 Ebony Larijani
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