It's Self Talk... Really It Is

What negative things are you saying to others? When you think about people, what negative things are you thinking about them? Can you make a list of these things? I will go first, even though this is embarrassing and humiliating, I will go first. I have become aware that the way to self healing is through the mirror of embarrassment and the window of humiliation. You embarrass yourself face to face with truth and then those that are watching find it intriguing to humiliate you. Don't let that stop you though, we all have a turn and place for everything in life.

When you make your list you don't have to name people, unless you choose to but just name the things that come out of your mouth/mind. Wait, don't start yet. When you do inner healing it can sometimes be shocking depending on how deep you go into it. It is good to start with prayer, ask God to allow you to be honest with yourself no matter how much it can hurt. Get comfortable, a lot of times I do my inner searching things at night in my comfy PJ's and with a glass of wine or hot herbal tea. I enjoy lighting all natural candles with calming smells. I sometimes bathe before and put my all natural soothing creams on or some of my body oils. What ever works for you, works for you, but please don't just jump into these things unprepared.

Here I go...........

My thoughts:
1. He/She surly must be watching me.
2. He/She is so jealous it's not normal.
3. He/She lacks so much love.
4. He/She will feel less when they see I have done this.
5. He/She makes me angry trying to make all this look easy.

Things I have said:
1. Why do you do that.
2. What is wrong with you.
3. You need help.
4. Why do you care if I'm happy or not.
5. You put so many wrong things before me.
6. I can't see you doing that.
7. I hate you.

Now that the list is made (and might I add this is a small one, when I go deeper the lists gets longer) this is what you manifest from your list.


My thoughts, IT'S SELF TALK, REALLY IT IS:
1. I SURLY AM WATCHING THEM.
2. I AM SO JEALOUS IT'S NOT NORMAL.
3. I LACK SO MUCH LOVE.
4. I FEEL LESS WHEN I SEE WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE.
5. I NEED TO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ALL THIS LOOK EASY, CAUSE IT'S NOT.

Things I have said, IT'S SELF TALK, REALLY IT IS:
1. Why do I do that.
2. What is wrong with ME.
3. I need help.
4. Why do I care if I'M happy or not.
5. I put so many wrong things before MYSELF.
6. I can't see ME doing that.
7. I hate MYSELF.

Wow! Is that what you are thinking? The first time you do this it will shock you, or you might switch the wrong words up and still not be truthful to yourself. But it is a fact that what you think/say to others is truly how you see yourself. We see in others the same thing we hate in ourselves.

Here is the good news; once you have created your second list you can then begin to heal. The more we deny something we continue to feed it the lie and it eats us up until there is nothing left but raw truth or brutal loss. Truth leads to love, because love is truth and truth needs to be loved. Truth hurts when it comes out because it was so comfortable in the lie.

If you have a moment to create your own list you should try it. Just be sure your going to be honest, do not make the list about anybody but YOU. It is YOUR list and YOU deserve to know the truth about YOURSELF.

I bet you thought the only people that have ever lied to you are other people, this list shows we often lie to ourselves.

(c) since 2011 Ebony Larijani